The wonderer looking to the skies.

2009-04-11T21:18:00.002+08:00

wow. so long has passed since i blogged here. i have been updating my thoughts on my facebook notes. I think it is a better avenue for me to air my views there if i want people to comment and stuff. This blog is stagnant. However, it acts as a a new location for me to rant my thoughts without people knowing.

Sigh. I keep delaying building my portfolio because i dont know what i want to do in my life. it is so simple for my friends. It is simply finance. Well, at least for many of them. I am not the least interested in pursuing a career in that. Well, i mean it is important. After i took FIIM, i realised the importance of the financial systems but i am not that interested in it. I am more interested in corporations and how they manage finances.

So far i only have decided i am going to go for MNC. well, the rest. i am not too certain. business development? I am interested in that. I am interested in working for the strategies department of MNCs. I know i am young and not there yet but i am willing to learn. When i mean by strategies, i meant like knowing which market to expand or look into. It seems as though it is very much about marketing?

However, i think different companies look for different ones. Fedex probably looks for someone with operations major and background together with marketing. To think of ideas and new areas to venture into. SOmeone with knowledge about the industries and a relevant skill.

I think i have been looking in the wrong places.. It is about finding the industries and then finding a skill to support it. Marketing would be the skill to support it. Although it can't be said that it is a skill that can be learnt but i think there are still knowledge to be learnt. I want to concentrate my modules towards strategy, marketing and accountancy degree. :)

probbaly a long time before i graduate. but the economy is so bad. see how yeah.

2008-09-28T11:16:00.002+08:00

i was reading through my blogpost before i entered SMU and was in JC. i was so driven about what i want to do in my life. in achieving success and becoming a stronger leader.

i was so convinced that i was one of the best in the people whom i know and i can succeed in what i want to do.

i think i lost myself somewhere in this journey. i fell really quite hard for the first few weeks. not knowing what to do, not knowing what do with free time on hand. i became more withdrawn. i dont tell all my friends what is happening and i behave in a way that i dont want them to know.

i smile alot because i believe that being happy is the key to life but i cant find things that can keep me smiling. i live very much for others becuase i believe that i wanna make other people happy and making other ppl happy, i will be happy too.

but i think something went wrong there. I grew tired of doing things and it's back to studying. i think i wanna do things that i believe in. no longer just because of learning.

tired

2008-09-28T10:10:00.002+08:00

tired. i am always tired of life.

oh wells. i ran for exco i got in but i dropped out. complications.

i wanted president or marketing at least but i didnt get both. and my interest lies in both. yeap.
i think i really wanted to learn and test my skills in those areas.

then i met a new group of friend frm my FT class: May, Ben, Weisheng, and Justina.

more of hanging out more with May at screme for guitar heroes :D

sighhh. but i got to get to studying. everyone is studying like mad while i am not. sighhh.

cognitare's interview is on sunday but i cant get myself to clear my work before this weekend. today i must finish finance and MA homework. no joke man. i am quite scared and stressed.

but i think my motivations are different and wrong.. i dont wanna study just because i wanna score. but becuase i have to meet deadlines.

learning is the center of life. girl. learning.

2008-09-08T08:52:00.002+08:00

i am quite tired.

i love sleeping nowadays. i keep going late for class. i am so sick of school that i dont want to go to school.

mid-life crisis man.

AYF

2008-07-28T01:15:00.002+08:00

A few more hours away to Asean + 3 Youth Festival.

This week's preparation was for AYF's cultural performance. Tired but worth it. I think i will enjoy it very much :) Prepping for the performance kills meeeee.

I think i am looking forward to it. With an open heart.

Everyone has a choice to how they want to look at things. By opening your minds, you can view things in a perspective different from a closed mind.

If you tell yourself it will be good, it will be good.

Alrighty. signing off.

Amber jingles off to AYF

decisions

2008-07-24T00:20:00.002+08:00

I made a decision that will probably last for one and a half year.

i chose to join SMAP with the understanding that I might be in EXCO.

For next semester, I have Mail Mobile, OCIP and possibly, SMAP.

i must really think through tis.

on a side note, i am getting gossip. weirds.

2008-07-22T01:32:00.002+08:00

tired. i am really tired.

can't wait for MISE-5 to be over and out.

AYF is pulling me in all directions and commitment of the team is not there. i obviously didn't know what i signed up for. disappointing.

very disappointing.

amber jingles off in tears.

existing or living?

2008-07-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

i suddenly have this thought:

i am existing; not living.

i exist but i am not living life properly.

i am living; not existing.

i am living my life to the fullest but do i really exist?

amber jingles off

Mail Mobile's 1st potential client!

2008-07-17T23:43:00.004+08:00

Mail Mobile has its first potential client!

Elger from Milk Media is helping us! HURRAY! He said that he has a business for us.

A brief introduction of Mail Mobile:
Mail Mobile is a social enterprise run hand-in-hand with coordinators from the Singapore Association of Mental Health (SAMH) and students from Singapore Management University Initiatives for Social Enterprise (SMU-ISE). A mail house is a firm that provides letter shopping services. Mail Mobile will address, sort and bundle direct mail pieces, and subsequently deliver them to the post office for mailing.

I don't know how to explain my feelings now. At this moment in time, it seems as if what i have been working so hard so hard for is suddenly breaking through. I am seeing some light. It seems as if the project will definitely go through. It will be a tougher, longer route that i have to walk with my team mates.

we are dealing with lives.
we know that.

business plan submission

2008-07-17T09:57:00.002+08:00

Finally. I finished my financial projections. Or rather, i finished my projections on Tuesday. I went to meet Ken, a fellow SMU student who has his own business, for him to discuss on our business proposal.

I think i have to re-do my financial projections. goodness..

this is a boring entry.

there's a trade-off between the number of beneficiaries, time where net profit is positive, break even period.

if i were to increase the number of beneficiaries, i have to push back the time where net profit is positive, because an increment in the number of beneficiaries, i have to increase manpower expenses, hence net profit, will take a longer time to be positive because have to wait for demand to increase.

if i were to increase e number of beneficiaries, the time where net profit turns positive is pushed back, which means retained earnings keep being negative. then net profit is also smaller because manpower expenses higher, so retained earnings take a longer time to be positive, hence a longer time to break-even.

now i have to think of how to make sure that i give them a MINIMAL pay, make sure it benefits a large number of beneficiaries, and lastly, ensure that your company breakeven soon.

sighs.

i think we have to reweigh our objectives.
1. giving beneficiaries a minimal pay
2. giving beneficiaries integration into workforce
3. ensuring that they are undergoing rehab (meaning working so that can increase concentration span etc)

woo.

2008-07-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

i saw a friend today. not really a friend, maybe more of an acquitance. those sort of hi-bye friends.

i stopped and pondered. that friend never saved my number. i knew him since last semester and working on a project together now.
but why? his phone memory space for contacts is full.

sometimes, you just don't matter to people. i then took out my phone and looked through all the numbers, for who do i matter?

for who do i matter.

amber jingles off. pondering.

bidding

2008-07-10T22:08:00.001+08:00

hurrayyy i got all my bids! i paid a little expensive for some, and wondering now if i should drop and rebid cuz some people got it at half the price but it's a risk of course. given now that some ppl might change course and bid for some other stuff.

i count myself lucky enough.

:):):)

amber jingles off in happiness.

2008-07-10T15:55:00.002+08:00

"With wisdom comes age, but with age, wisdom does not always come."

amber jingles off.

2008-07-08T00:03:00.003+08:00

called up Mr Tong and he said i am a control freak. haha. quite true. was pretty upset.

why am i a perfectionist? if it's not good, i can easily say let's do it better. let's do it better. we can make it better. we can we can we can we can.

i am sick man. seriously crazy.

amber jingles off in tears.

2008-07-06T22:49:00.002+08:00

sometimes, death don't destroy just one life.

to someone who can just count, who can just look at a big picture, where numbers and quantities only matter, it's just one life.

but to many who can count, it's more than one. family, friends, loved ones. many others.

but if death has destroyed one life already, maybe it's time to reduce damage to other lives. Afterall, the ones who survive have it hard now..

i know i am biased but i think no one understands the position of renfred. i am not his friend, i am not levin's friend. but i only know that no one would ever ever wanted his friend to pass away. no one would ever ever want his friend to be gone.

everyone at that moment of time, would be thinking of the best way they could have done at that point of time to act. which is wad renfred has done. but i think he will hold himself guilty nonetheless. nonetheless.

you don't get over death. you move on.

amber jingles off. in silence for levin.

2008-07-06T19:02:00.002+08:00

21st birthday partyy

My friend asked me what birthday party should she have for her 21st birthday party and i listed some. pretty common ones like booking club and stuff.

AND I CAME UP w some awesome (or i believe so) ideas. so for those who haven't celebrated yours, and you read my blog, by accident or anything, here it goes.
haha.

1. book a suite or a presidential room in one of the hotels and set your own party in the room and have great fun there. probably one of the best views and privacy. totally.

2. book a big bus. like an ULTRA BIG VAN and it has lots of room and stuff. or you can request for a truck or wadever. and you can party on it. hahaha. so it can bring you say to east coast park and you go to east coast park and cycle with your friends or it brings you to marina dock where you just chill w your friends and the best thing? it can pick up and drop off your friends directly from their door steps. hahaha.

3. or if you are cheapskate and yet you still want to have something that is nice and sweet. why not try going to a multi-storey carpark? pack your own tables and chairs and bottle of wine and all things nice. go to the multi-storey carpark, buzz your friends to drive down at 3am. drink till 530 am and watch the sunrise.
niceeeeee.

how thoughtful i am.

amber jingles off.

Asean + 3 youth festival

2008-07-05T23:35:00.003+08:00

did ayf today.

they are a bunch of crazy people. fun and crazy. really fun and crazy.
we joke so much! but there are so many guys! jeez. the ratio is mad. there's less than 10 girls and more than 20 guys. WOW. it's. weird. hahahahahah.

the male presence is SO STRONG in the team.

i am doing culture and need to plan the culture element of Asean + 3 youth festival. i am so scared that i will be fined because A+3 youth festival people said that we need to put in Asean+3 and not Asean. hahaha. careful. careful. hahaha.

so far it looks interesting :D and i am really going to go ahead with this. i now need to find the head of entrepreneurship of A+3 and speak to him about The Mail Factory. He owns an advertising company and hopefully can ask him abt the Mail Factory. He's interested. :)

amber jingles off.

unpredicted.

2008-07-05T10:59:00.003+08:00

I never knew who he was, until yesterday afternoon. I felt connected and shocked cuz i have seen him around in school and are friends of friends. never really know him nor got introduced before. maybe he was in one of my classes, maybe he walked past me.

i sincerely hope that he rests in peace.

he leaves behind many that grieves and mourns. i hope that renfred (his friend) is alright and sincerely hope that smu sailing team is alright. i am worried about my friends who are onboard now. hope everything will be alright.

MISE competition

2008-07-03T23:35:00.002+08:00

I am currently doing a competition for MISE - Mayor's Intiative for Social Enterprise, representing SMU-ISE.

It's a very small competition, nothing international but i am still exhilarated and excited!

It's very tough for me because it's something new and i have never ever done it before!

I am getting excited because I am really learning a lot from it! I am looking at doing the Marketing/Sales part of it and pitching sales to companies. I am not doing it on a personal level (nono, i am not going to do door-to-door sales but to sell it to companies and make it possible)

Our Social Enterprise is going to be up and it's going to be a social enterprise under Singapore Association of Mental Health (SAMH). It's known as The Mail Factory which provide letter shopping services such as inserting, perforating, labelling, tabbing etc.

I talked to Ken Koh, a SMU student who has went ahead to set up his own company, Youth Enterprise Academy (YEA). He suggested that i worked with DP group which sells databases to companies. Since these companies would require people to send out letters/catalogs to databases which they have collected.

COOLEST. EXCITING. I know i might be over-reacting but it's a damn smart idea. working backwards. packaging, we just need to convince DP group to send us some of their contacts or recommend. However, a recommendation is hard to get from DP group (www.dpgroup.com.sg) which is a big company. It would be a risk on their part. WHy would a big company want to help such a small start-up company?

Definitely in the short run, it would be difficult to get them to work with us. We have nothing. We have no credibility in the industry yet, we have no deals to show them that we are sustainable and a stable company. How to show them that we will work?

so let's start with SMEs, start-ups, slowly build it up from there. We build it up from there, we will gain alot more credibility. Once we stabilize, we will hit DP group but DP group is only good if we want to grow as a SE. If it is for sustainability, we will leech onto a personal contact or try to pitch to organizations that are more likely to respond to us because we are a SE (selling on our social cause first). We willl leech on a big one, and then work with SMEs. This will stabilize our company and bring in a stable income, but it won't make us grow.

to make a company grow, you must take a wider step. this step is the determining step which will help your company to really grow. i don't mean by the usual sales but increase the operations by folds. the hard part is selling to Dp group.

i need to learn sales! EXCITING! maybe we can do it in such a way that we can give commission to DP group for recommendations that are successful.. they are such a big company, they are not looking at gaining profits from us. boils down to the social element. Need to think it in depth. in details.

A talk with a Taxi Driver

2008-06-27T02:08:00.002+08:00

I had a talk with a taxi driver on my way back after we finished our project.

A nice uncle and I had a great time talking to him :))

talking to people like this make me realise a simple fact.

that this is a world of comparison and relativity.

There will always be rich people and poor people. but there will always be richer people than the rich people and poorer people than poor people.

The rich people will have the problems of rich people whereas the poor people will have their fair share.

The grass is always greener on the other side and the taxi driver and I came to a consensus.

We should just be contented with life.

We want to live our lives in a certain way, a certain manner and we lose ourselves. We forget that there will always be people poorer. The reluctance to accept this fact and live a simpler life makes us lost.

We all reach the same conclusion in life:

love and family matters the most.

but no one follows it.

It's sad right?

well. i'm starting to care for my family. i really want to bring my parents to the best that i can. out of love for them :)

Ground Zero I

2008-06-01T00:36:00.002+08:00

Why do I mention something that is so obvious?
Simply because I am not doing it very often and I have this sudden realisation that I need to look at it in this way. I hope to use this as a reminder to myself :)

I realise that in life when you experience too many of some thing, you get really familiar with it. In that case, when you are really familiar with that particular thing, due to the assurances of your past experiences with it, the knowledge of the thing, leading to the building up of a certain level of confidence in handling it. Since your confidence built up in handling it, you will look at things from a bird eye's view or a macro view and miss out details of this simple thing that you have fully understand.

In your mind, you understand that these details are tuck somewhat in your brain but because you are so familiar with holding a leadership position (due to your abilities and experiences in these events/things/happenings) in this area, you develop a tendency to look at things from a bird eye's view. In this case, when the world is evolving constantly, you tend to still look at it from a bird eye's view though what details you remembered from your past experiences is no longer valid and useful because the world has changed.

To get back the same experiences and to learn as before, you need to go to Ground Zero, a term that is coined to describe a phenomenon that destructs building to the ground level immediately - hence ground zero, 0m from the ground. Going to Ground Zero allows you to understand the view point of someone who is handling something first hand - the mistakes, details, everything - and at the same time, look at it in a very different perspective.

So what are the benefits of looking at Ground Zero besides perspective?
You would have gained a micro perspective then a macro perspective (due to your leadership position). However, at this point, your micro perspective is diluted such that you will fail to notice some small details. You need to constantly stand at Ground Zero rather than a level higher up.

Most importantly, looking at Ground Zero would allow you to understand some form of Ground Zero knowledge which you failed to recognize or something that would have developed over the time you were standing at a higher level. These new Ground Zero knowledge would allow you to build up your experiences/knowledge from previous past experiences/knowledge and bring you to a higher level which gives you a more complete picture than before, simply because your ground zero knowledge was diluted by your macro viewpoint.

Next up, to reflect on how to implement Ground Zero back in my life.

Ground Zero

2008-05-31T09:20:00.002+08:00

I have decided to start penning down my thoughts about my life because unknowingly, my life seems to be a cycle which keep repeating itself.

*scape's groundbreaking ceremony. PLEASE READ.

2008-02-25T12:01:00.005+08:00

YEAH!!! *scape's groundbreaking ceremony is finally over! O-V-E-R! HURRAYS!!Let's look at the sandpit before they break the sand.

it was kinda nerve-wrecking! For those who don't know, i did emceeing at *scape groundbreaking ceremony! I had to say 'Give it up for the It's my Life performers (they are Tan Kheng Hua's students). It's My life opens on 27 Nov 2008 at NUS Centre for the Arts.' i keep getting stuff wrong!!

and after that i had to speak a WHOLE chunk of information for Project DanceEdge that i rushed it through. MAN! I was so nervous that Tan Kheng Hua came forward and taught me to slowly ease into the performance and not snatch their limelight :) I am really grateful that she was here today to teach me!

And then, next thing i know i finished groundbreak anddd Mr Lee Hong Chuan, chairman of board of directors, asked Stanley and I to go to Dr. Vivian Balakrishnan and he introduced us.

Dr. Vivian REMEMBERED ME. omg. from 100 Chairs 2007. omg. that's hell cool.

next thing i know is that Eunice Olsen came up to me and talked to me! omg. I was so nervous. She said she wanted to quote me for YOG. I don't know if she is talking about the correct person. SIGH. but she said she wanna quote me and she gave me her contact. that's like damn cool. wow. so i am still waiting for her e-mail to come :D lol. [ i wonder it is because i was interviewed in *scape corporate video ]

andddd. the surprises have not stopped. The events company came to me and explained to me that the company is recruiting emcees and hosts for roadshows and asked me if i am interested. He said he can train me and stuff. like wow.

who gets this kinda thing being an emcee for the first time?

it sure was a lucky day for me.

Pre-trip thoughts

2007-12-14T15:37:00.000+08:00

I am anxious-excited-worried-happy about going to India.

i don't know why. hahhaha. don't ask me why.

i am going with a team of people that i know barely 3 to 4 months ago. This is the first time i am going to a cold country with temperature like 5 to 21 degrees. Geeeee.

nervous. rawrs. went shopping with wenguang to get jeans. met a few salesperson that was irritating and simply because i don't wanna try, she rolled her eyes at me. (i know this sounds nationalist) stupid china woman. :X idiot.

oh. met up with Ashley from SyC'06 today! YEAH!!! i miss him! :D :D :D he gave me a card that had a really sweeeet msg inside. so touched! :)

here's a picture of us! haha. i look quite horrible but ashley look so cute! :D like little boy.

2007-12-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

Finally. everything's over and almost done.

Tiger burning Production, the highlight of PROJECT DanceEdge is over.

I will update this shortly after i tell this story.

i was walking in the underpass when a blind man couldn't find his bag which he put his stuff, equipment for playing music so i just went forward to help. Afterall i expect it to be some simple job. I took his hand and linked it to the bag but i found myself being asked to bring him to block 205 which was 200-400m away and i had to cross the roads and stuff - which i did and i lost my way! (hahahah) anyway, along the way, he was persistent in asking me how do i find tutees. I said i don't teach but i have friends who do.

He said that he has a friend who is partially blind but she would want to find tutees to teach because she has the passion to teach. She tried going to various tution centres but they are unwilling to offer her a position because she is inexperienced. (at this point of time, i realised it was not about being inexperienced.)

He (his name is robby) was quite persistent so i am just going to try and ask around to see if there's ANY way that i can help him though i know the chances are near to zero. I asked Robby to ask Singapore Blind Association but he said that they are unwilling to help.

I just promised a disadvantaged person a promise that will almost never come true. It can't be help and i am saddened by this fact.

So many of us living on this earth have the ability to help others yet we choose to go about our self-absorbed way of living. I really believe that i can help others.

that's all from me. good night.

PDE!

2007-11-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

a few more days to PROJECT DanceEdge's performance at Esplanade. I can't wait. >.<

i am so nervous for FA's exam. FA is my strongest out of all my subjects which is why i am confident yet worried. The exam questions are alright but to really get the grade, u have to be DAMN zai. i am very worried. :S

hai.

my tooth is giving me problem. i need to denerve it and crown it. It's molar. :( haish. it's around 1k. ouchie.

ahaha. the kids at PROJECT DanceEdge are starting to be worried for the actual event :S I am worried too! One guy just called me up and said that he was nervous. hahaha. he was the little boy i was teaching at SMU. lol. but they have enjoyed this entire journey. My saturday mornings have not been wasted. :)

check out PDE at www.scape.youth.sg yeah!

:)

TWC - last journal

2007-11-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

I LOVE TWC.

i really love technology and world change. I LOVE MY PROF. PAMELA LIM is really the best professor. She rocks so much. A technopreneur, a mother of five, a professor. She is someone whom i look up to.

Very much.

Here's my last entry.

I took away more than I expected. Not only did I achieve my objectives of understanding technological innovations and its impact on the society, environment and economy, I learnt more than that. Each week I learnt more about innovation, not merely from the textbook – Exploring Innovation which I diligently flipped through every week, but from my friends, professor and surprisingly, technology itself – the Internet.

We took some time getting used to the weekly presentations that were clearly not something we expected. From the name of the module – Technology and World Change, all of us thought that we would have to memorise every single word and sentence in the book and regurgitate the technical information in the final semester examinations that would make up the majority of our examinations. The content of the module was too different from what I expected. I thought that we would be learning about the different types of technology together with the effects and impacts of these technologies. It turned out that I was very wrong. Innovation was definitely not technological breakthroughs but a new and different way of packaging new ideas, skills and in some cases, new technologies. I could be an innovator even if I have little or no technical skills.

Most importantly, I took on general knowledge which I believe is essential in today’s world. Protecting your creative work through Intellectual Property Rights, knowing ways to create atmosphere within your organization for growth of creative work, finding ways to finance your innovation and setting the correct path for the development of your innovation through business strategies like the Anson Product-Market Matrix. This general knowledge do not just prepare us to be technical entrepreneurs but rather to better prepare us for a world where we would require these in the business or corporate world.

In conclusion, I did not just achieve my objectives. I received more than I expected. For they say reach for the moon and if you fall, you fall between the stars. I dare say I have reached for the moon but I have gotten the entire galaxy.

Here's her reply:

Xiu Jing, always a concientious worker, you've impressed me constantly with your presentations, no nonsense attitude and diligence. These qualities are the essence of success in any area : study, work, business. I know you will be very successful in whatever you choose to do. When that happens, remember me!

She is someone who i will look to. definitely.

2007-10-23T09:43:00.000+08:00

i am so disappointed with myself. I am certainly not putting in my effort to do what i can do best! When i know i can score etc and i am slacking! ARGH.

I feel like a slacker. I am not putting my utmost effort and i am going to do it now!!!!!!!!

From today onwards!
24 Oct, 9.44 am.

I am gonna keep this in my head.

You got a dream. It's a big and difficult one.

You want to get it? You got to study hard.

2007-10-16T07:33:00.000+08:00

Today's gonna be a tough dayyy omg.

930-1130 LTB meeting
12-315 LTB class
330-645 COMMS class
7 COMMS meeting

WAH i can't stand it. I got 2 big shocks yesterday man.

1. My cousin is getting married! yeah. shot-gun :S wad's the world coming to man. i have another cousin who got married, divorced, remarried and now, don't ask me what's the situation.

2. Woodlands YEC came to ask me to appoint me as one of their chairmans. They are going to have 3 chairmans. I mean they already discussed with MP (member of parliament) that they are gonna recruit me before telling me? WAH! I mean i didn't even run for a second term with woodlands YEC and they are saying things like 'giving you substantial support'. I don't know man.

I have my reasons for leaving YEC so i don't know whether to continue or not. It is a headache. They are like lost sheeps. This will compromise my grades. CONFIRMED.

This is the piece of advice Mr Tong gave me: 'Just manage your time well. The path you are going down will meet an inevitable compromise in grades ... But instead of outright rejecting it, begin with the end in mind. Does this chairmanships take you to where you want to eventually serve? Do excellent grades help you even more in where you want to go or does experience count more?'

What do i want in my 4 years? Slacking or wad?
I am pretty tired already. I can't even get myself to study. I told myself that in university I got to study. I really want to study. My grades now are not really like DAMNNNNN good but i think my next sem would be damn hard lor. Basically if i step in, I would have to help structure the entire thing, sit in meetings with higher admin(well with CCC, MP etc).

Winter 07

14 Dec - Sunburst Youth Camp
15-16 Dec - Retreat for Coast2Coast

20 Dec - 1 Jan - Project Coast2Coast

Summer 08

Philippines OCIP

Internship at Grameen Bank (Bangladesh) - MORE OR LESS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO

My second Sem at SMU IS CRAZY okays.

Biz law, intro stats, BGS and sth else.

My commitment level now:

1. Coast2Coast - Weekly Meeting
2. Philippines OCIP - weekly meeting + 3 sub-teams i am in charge of
3. *scape - PDE
4. Studies

I got to be responsible for what i already taken on. If what i am taking now will compromise my commitment level in this, i don't think i'm coping at all. After all, studies is my main priority. What Mr tong says is true though. I can't think today. Not till this weekend.

:) Can't wait for Sunday. WHEE!

2007-10-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

My ex-crush and I. We are closer friends now but i don't know about taking it a step further. I think we will just have to walk and see i guess. It used to be that he can't look at me in the eyes when he talk to me because he's just shy around girls. Now it's the other way round! I can't talk to him and look at him in the eyes! :X i got to chill-lax man. hahah. It has been so many years! 4 ? 5 yrs? nahs i really liked him for 2 yrs. and he just gives me the vibes when i see him in j1 and j2 but never really know him. hahaha.

OH well. i guess we are friends now. well, closer friends. See how yeah. haha. yesh. i shall keep it that way! :)

2007-10-08T08:31:00.000+08:00

woah. Yesterday was SHIOK!

i went down to sentosa with my boss (back at *scape) and her friends. I feel so pampered as a little girl :) From the moment i stepped into the train, he was a nice guy(uncle)! He helped me carry my stuff and set it on the floor etc. He treated me breakfast (okay. i sound like i am easily bribed) and then he paid for everyone (there's 3 ladies & 1 girl --> tt 1 girl's me. ) tickets and everybirdy's food and drinks. I paid zero dollar. omg. i have never seen such a nice guy. I AM NOT SMITTEN BY HIM.

chill-lax hahaa. he's 35 years old. like 16 years older than me? wow. hahaha. but my guy friends certainly should pick up a lesson or two man!

I went for dinner with my ex-crush ( don't get excited! and friends!) uhh those who knows me should know who it is. like WAYYY back since secondary school. CRAP MAN. i met up with them for dinner and freaking hell! They made me wait for an hour (2 guys!) and my EC (ex-crush) was late for 20 minutes. I WAS FREAKIN PISSED. i called all of them and gave them a ranting! and my EC was lost in BUGIS :S wth. i think little india there haha. win already hor. i also think so. When he reached already, he just sheepishly look at me and extended his hands. NOT BAD for a guy was too shy to even look at me when he talked to me. haha. i just dumped everything onto him. which was basically a laptop, my Fa textbook and my camera (which i won from using wireless.sg)

Both of us had to like stand in the corner and wait for the other 2 boys for 40 minutes. ahah. both of us were damn pissed. ahahah but we managed to talk but not so much :) Anyways, we finally got our dinner at a place after scouting a few places. The seating arrangement was such that i was sitting next to him (not surprisingly) but i was a bit paisae so i placed the FA Book between us :S my friend said that's a seriously wrong move. HAHA. uh okays. I had left-over chicken and i asked around the table if they want and he & e other 2 guys refused initately then i offered to another of my good guy friend (like brother) so he took the first piece and then when i passed the 2nd piece to my brother, he was like staring at him, and said,' OI. i want to eat that.' then i turned to him,' i tot u said u dun wanan eat it?' then he said,' i wanna gain wt'

He has changed quite a bit in his attitude towards me. We met up for dinner and movie every 2/3 weeks? I duno he changed quite a bit. hmm. He changed from he can't talk to me and look at me in the eyes till now where he can just eat from my bowl of food and help me carry my stuff. ayes. i duno lar. I am meeting him next next week to pass him a keychain which i got for him.

Alrighty. I got to focus on my studies :) haha i am going to try for the interview to go to India for OCIP.

I am thinking of going for an internship at a social enterprise. WOO!

2007-10-06T12:23:00.000+08:00

wahhh it's been a while since i updated.

haha. i always say that!

I went for latin performance team auditions. =( i really tried my best and even practised at home and i didn't get in! =(( i haven't feel so disappointed in such a long time. Now.. I am inside the marketing team as well but i wonder if i should continue to contribute to the team because i told manfred before i joined the team, is it very bad if i withdraw from the latin feste comm then he said better not withdraw.

I don't know man. This is the first time i am doing something so bad, as in, committing myself to it yet going back on my words. i have never done it before. If i am to do it, i will do it again and again and again but then, i really don't know how much commitment i would put inside. =S

I have decided that i want to join a social enterprise or set up one myself. I won't be a mercenary person!!!

Mr Tong is setting up another business soon! hahah. service learning company.

I am thinking of organising an overseas cip but i am very worried. I am worried that i am unable to actually lead so many people in this trip. I can tell they are all good leaders but i don't want them to suffer under me. =S hai. It's gonna be like more than 14 days.

Plans for next summer: Overseas CIP, StarringSMU 08, international internship at social enterprise.

2007-09-21T08:12:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare. THe nightmare was so real that even after i woke up i was still crying. I recalled my other dream. When i woke up, i was crying too. I dreamt that my mom passed away. I started crying and even when i woke up, like now, i couldn't stop crying.

I had a nightmare about my 2nd uncle. Since I was young, he looked down on me, despised me for my entire life, thinking that i won't be successful in life, and was just a girl. When my cousin (his daughter) couldn't get into jc (and supposedly the conventional route to university), he commented,' what's the point? girls still have to get married.' He was hinting at me because i was the only girl from my paternal family that made it into university.

Anyway, the nightmare was about me arguing with him for every single thing i did or said. He distorted all my words and expressions into something else that depicts something negative to me. I had to stand up for myself but i was so weak. I have never felt so weak before. I started screaming at him as though my walls of defence were crumbling down.

It is indeed so in real life. I keep telling myself that i can't go on anymore because i really wanted a break after i cheong-ed so hard in JC. That break that i wanted never did come. Maybe i should just look at it in another perspective. I only have 3 more weeks to my term break and 10 more weeks to closing of the sch sem. I can't even feel myself working hard. I think this is probably the slackest i have come closed to.

I got to stop focusing on 1. how busy i am 2. how freaking tired i am 3. how everyone is so smart. i got to pull myself together.

2007-09-19T16:03:00.000+08:00

it has been 11 days since i updated and now i am updating but i am complaining!

argh. yes. the work load is crazy. i was so stressed by COMMS101 that i couldn't speak properly. I AM DARN PISSED WITH MYSELF> i performed SO BADLY. i mean if i didn't focus on that part - on being nervous, i could have been better. i AM NOT GONNA BE NERVOUS. i mean come on, i am supposed to be good, having undergone toastmasters. argh

that's one of the things that i am pissed at myself.

2. LTB
omg. i am so pissed. I skipped one meetign because i was sick. WTH. i shouldn't have skipped it and i shoud have insisted going no matter what. i am confused.

i need to write down.. so we are gonna go to the SMU Runabout, asking for left over frisbees, asking the frisbee people if they can teach us how to conduct frisbee clinic and we are comfirming whether if we are working with temasek pri.

i am pissed with myself for being so inefficient. We are gonna go ahead with temasek pri and i called beyond social services. I don't have fengyuan's number so how do i call him. argh. i am a lousy group mate myself. i can't even contact one of my other group mate to ask him to read his email. argh. i just can't work with certain people. This is my personal bitching space. i can't stand it so i had to do this. ARGH. and can't we just use properly WORDS to address each other. some of us are more sensitive than others. we just got to use more gentle words seriously. argh. i need to concentrateeee

Breaking Free

2007-09-08T07:25:00.000+08:00

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

We’re soarin’, flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
So we’re breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are
Creating space between us
‘Til we’re separate hearts

Both:
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

Chorus #1
We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach

If we’re trying
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Oh, we’re breakin’ free
Ohhhh

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can’t control
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Rising ‘til it lifts us up
So every one can see

Chorus #2
We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach

If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free
Ohhhh runnin’
Climbin’
To get to that place
To be all that we can be

Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
We’re breaking free
Ohhh , yeah

More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together
We see it comin’

More than you
More than me
Not a want, but a need
Both of us breakin’ free

Chorus #3
Soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying

Yeah we’re breaking free
Breaking free
Were runnin’
Ohhhh, climbin’
To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time

Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
Ohhh, we’re breaking free Ohhhh
You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

I loooove this song. YAH. i know high school musical 2 is out already but i still love this song - BREAKING FREE.

i think i more or less fixed on my path in life but i am a little tired of striving for what i believe but i know i won't stop.

2007-09-03T21:09:00.000+08:00

I am getting increasingly tired by the day. There seems to be an endless horde of emails to clear, an endless chain of work to do.

I have two project meetings tomorrow, two back to back lessons.
Wednesday- PDE: Dance camp
Thursday - PDE: Dance camp
Friday - Classes. FA!

I think i seriously need to get my act together. Everyone else is.

I got to sort out wad i really want in SMU.

I thought i knew what i wanted.

I know i got to mug real hard.

like REAL HARD but i don't have the motivation yet.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

What i want in SMU? I knew what i wanted back in NJ.

I wanted to be one of the best and i thought that i did, in other ways not in terms of studies.

In SMU, i realised that they are many people who are good and hardworking, and they know what they want.

I need to know what i want.

perhaps, i should just keep it this way: i want to do music and dance in my first year and sports in my second year.

As for studies, i got to aim to be one of the best too but it seems so hard.

2007-08-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

I FINALLY CLEARED MY MIND.

okays. i got to have a target in my life. I should concentrate on what what what. lols.

In e past, i wanted to try everything and concentrate on something. I realised that it is comm service that i like a lot.

Maybe i should think in terms of that area.

I don't think i wanna join SMUSA now. lol. I am over-stretched.

It is my studies that i should concentrate on. yes.

and join dance!

2007-08-24T09:37:00.000+08:00

shit man. I am damn pissed because i am supposed to meet someone at 9.00am in the morning. I reached here at 9.15am? i was carrying heavy things. he wasn't even like doing anything. I even gave him a morning call at 730am. AND I WOKE UP at 715 to do that.

ARGHS.

i can't stand late people.

-strangles strangles-

2007-08-21T23:06:00.001+08:00

i am so darn stressed after i have my first class.

i must understand why i choose to come to smu and i am already in university.

i need to be clear and focused. STOP PLAYING MAN.

i can play along my way but i need to be even more focused.

I need to invest for my future exchange prog.

SA. I guess it's hard for me to decide now. I am still getting used to the school. feb's offer is damn enticing but i should really think about it myself.

2007-08-21T17:50:00.000+08:00

I AM DAMN MESSED UP NOW.

SHOULD I RUN FOR SMUSA?! SMUSA?!
OMGG.

I AM ONLY A FRESHIE and my senior already asked me if i wanna run for SMUSA?!

should i? should i?

commitment?
*scape?

2007-08-21T16:21:00.001+08:00

Should I run or shouldn't i run.

ARGHHHHHH.

2007-08-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

school starts tomorrow.

It's rocking time.

Take a deep breath. Plunge in.

2007-08-19T10:22:00.000+08:00

YEAH!!! Retro Cheer Team won first!
We had confetti, self-made shades. YEAHHHHHH =DD =DD
Here are some of the pictures. LOL.
The preparation process

retarded me

Retarded Wen guang

Janice and I

2007-08-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Many people have chosen their paths,
One which best fulfil their materialistic desires,
One which best follow their beliefs in a cause, or
One which best allow them to pursue their interests.

2007-08-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

FTB RUn 4 is over. i had fun! =))

I am in grp 112, which is under Retro, and we won 3rd for FINAL CHALLENGE. YEAHHH. I am part of the retro cheer team and RETRO won the cheer section. WOOOOOO.

We are meeting up to talk nonsense, gathering. LOL. RETRO CHEER TEAM ROCKS. =D

2007-08-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

I am so much fun in SMU. It is crazy. I am totally enjoying it.

On monday, I went for a drinking session with my ELW mates! =D Cass, Hilda, Sandy, Sinyi, Keith, Nic, Haoming and I went to Alley bar for a drink. lol. This is the first time i went to a bar with the intention to drink although i drank very little. lol. Somehow everytime we meet, we have different couples to disturb. lol. It was Nic and Sinyi, and then Keith and Sandy. lol. I shared a drink with Cass and I felt like sleeping. lol. They said drinking makes me wanna sleep. lol. Then, we went to have supper =D yeah! nic then sent Hilda and me home. =)

On tuesday, we went for supper at Chomp Chomp =) but it was kinda late. I reached home at 1210. They continued their mahjong session at Sandy's house.

I have been feeling kinda emo the entire day. =X Dreading FTB tml.

actually this small other part I just wanted to write it down. lol. I am half-hoping that people don't understand it.

.tneliS retsiM .teiuq laer s'eh. .tneliS retsiM.

.yug ecin A .elbatS .tneliS

.eb ot tnaem si ,eb ot tnaem si tahW
Off to FTB.

StarringSMU

2007-08-05T21:38:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of StarringSMU for me =(( I am already missing the car wash, the stupid jokes we crack and the stupid things we DO!!!!!!

yes yes. i look retarded on Mc's but who cares! AHHHHHHHHH.

here's a couple of people i will miss. (in no order)

Group 4, especially... Edwina, Cheryl, Clariss, gerald, John, Xin Yi, Sheryl, Peihua, clement, JAMIE, cindy!

Darren Toh, Kangwei, FAUZI, grp 5 people. YEAHS. <3

sobz.

ELW is over.

2007-08-05T08:44:00.000+08:00

ELW IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! I can't explain how relief I am. EVERYONE is SOOOOOOOO happy that it is finally over. haha. Keith did something brave at the end. lol. He went up to her and then said,' uh.. this is my number. If you need help or anything, can gimme a call.' wah lau.

lol. u call it brave or u call it desperate? lol.

Yesterday night, elaine, nick, Haoming, cass and I were online. We wanted to go for an imprompt supper. Elaine wanted to sleep =( cass thinks that there's too little people. Nic has called in delivery. sians.

today.. I have starringSMU and salsa dance classes. =D

ELW Day 3

2007-08-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

It is finally day 3. We have a grammar book which we are supposed to complete. By the end of the day, we would have a test. OMG. it is killing me man. I am totally sick. I have a flu. I have a sore throat. I want to die!!!!!!!! Stupid BLOODY ELW. lol.

I met a lot of new people. I want to accept them in my life but somehow, there's this gap. I just think that we need more time to understand people and making so many friends at one go. I can't take it. lol. I want to know more about them as individuals. I want to know their characters, i want to know them as them and not as a name. I must remember this.

I remembered my teacher-cum-gd-fren telling me this right before I chose SMU as my first choice. 'Go in with an attitude to learn. Every one of them is your teacher.'

i must remember this.

[i am damn pissed by another thing which is totally unrelated. I am treated like some helper. Whenever some one needs help, he/she will just come to me. I feel like some trash. ]

ELW day 1

2007-07-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought ELW was a week of fun ahead, it turned out to be a nightmare. lol. I shall not be mean. WELL, i do agree that it actually helps a LITTLE especially so if your groupies are cute people! lol. when i met by cute, hohohoho. Those who knows me well do know what i mean. lol. I shan't elaborate. I am learning to be hush hush about this kinda thing. =p

I did really enjoy the laughter with my group though =D =D =D

i shall look on the bright side of things. =) oh. I just realised that the Elaine and I have the same blogskin!!! >.<

BBQ at weihao's house

2007-07-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

Today was the first time I met project DanceEdge's participants. The young ones were really cute and sweet and i had a 7 year old boyfriend who called himself, nothing and i was everything. lol. He totally sticked onto me and hugged me alot. lol. I met with the older ones as well, from viriya social services and boys' town. Boys' town is very different from Boys' Home, where they can choose to join voluntarily. It is very different. The guys are all very nice chaps. =)) oooh it was kinda cute. Grace has been trying to matchmake me since forever and she asked the little boys if i can be the kind of girl that they like and guess what?! one of the little boys gave me his email address after the whole thing. lol. so cute right. but i chided grace for leading them on. tsk tsk.

WOOOOOOO. we had bbq at weihao's house =)) =))

it was good. Chock, Weihao,natg, melvin, krystle and me! It was too bad that Ben couldn't join us (he was confined). We had the usual things for BBQ but the highlight was Natg's watermelon balls and Weihao's Choc fondue. YEAHHHHHHH~!

We had fun talking about our classmates and gossiping about other people's love lives. oh well. The good old times. Too bad natg's leaving soon=((

2007-07-27T20:33:00.001+08:00

i am pondering.

If i have enough time to volunteer at K K hospital.

Do i want to volunteer at KK hospital ?

I am looking either at this:
Chaperone
http://www.kkh.com.sg/WaystoGivenVolunteer/Volunteers/WardEntertainmentProgramme/

Volunteer
http://www.kkh.com.sg/WaystoGivenVolunteer/Volunteers/PlayActivity/

Perhaps i will join the ward entertainment programme before i join the other one.

I don't know actually. i want to look at all my time table before i volunteer so much. lol. Logically, i should wait till i confirm my class schedule and i have settled properly in my school before i volunteer.

I always wanted to have first hand experiences volunteering but it is always the hardest, most emotional.

It is once every two weeks. It isn't that bad right? Given my temperament, i would be very emotionally attached.

I think i shall visit them before i commit.

StarringSMU pictures

2007-07-27T13:21:00.000+08:00

I LOVE SMU!
here are the pictures from StarringSMU!

SMU JUMP AT SUNTEC city

OUR kisses for the nation!

SMU JUMP AGAINNNNN at CINE!

I was interviewed on the streets as an SMU GIRL!

HAHAHA. this video is shown on all Mc's outlets islandwide. gosh.

SMU JUMP at clarke quay.

Poor video crew at Clarke Quay at 10pm.

That's all for now. STARRINGSMu pictures soon! WHY CAN't i attend the gathering =((

Starring SMU!

2007-07-25T16:49:00.000+08:00

I am feeling overwhelmed! There's so many things to do, so many things to look into, so many things to be discussed and definitely, so many things to update on!

=))

i shall start from 18jul?

18 jul
Starring SMU day 1
It was Starring SMU day 1! All of the freshies and seniors are briefed during this session. After that, we headed for lunch at Subway at the SIS building or the Social Science building. lol. I still cannot find my way around SMU although it's a small building! =))

We broke into our groups before lunch and i found out i was in the same group as Super knight's groupmate. lol. It was really funny because he went 'Princess?!' and I went 'Superknight's friend?!' lol. YUPS. We cleared the misunderstanding pretty fast and we are now BEST FRIENDS. LOL. (simply because he drives =p) Anyway, i was sabo into being the 'group leader' of Grp 4 and for Amazing Race within SMU. WE WON FIRST! hahahha. the prize was just chocolates but we pretty much enjoy it!

19 jul
Starring SMU day 2- Kisses for the Nation
We went around Singapore asking people to kiss on postcards and write down their wishes for SINGAPORE!! =))
After Kisses for the Nation, we went on to compile a national day video which will be screened on all Mcdonald's LCD screen from this friday onwards! We had to pull people to do this video and they were pretty nice about it. We went to Clarke Quay and Orchard Road to do the filming. It is really cool. I am inside the video as well =)) lol. haha and we did the SMU JUMP in clarke quay. The scenary was simply to go to be missed.

20 jul + 21 jul
Starring SMU day 3 + 4- CAR WASH
YEAHHHHH. We went car wash! It is pretty fun. I had lots of fun just washing cars and talking nonsense. lol. i washed a mini cooper! OH YEAH. haha and we played 'I have never...' lol. and we found out SOMEONE had bought a condom and SOMEONE had used a condom. gosh.

22jul
Starring SMU day 5
Simply just doing the formation at Neesoon Camp for NDP Padang. It was pretty boring. lol. We had prata at The Prata House =))

24 jul
Supper with Jamie, Clement and Don- the photographer.
We just headed down to Geylang to have supper. lol. We saw the police catching some fellow. It was a pretty exciting night. hohoho.
Thanks don for sending us girls home. =))

I have linked Starring SMU photos! WOOOOO. catch me there! =))

Bondue group mates!

2007-07-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

Here are my bondue group mates! =))

Cedric's missing!

BONDUE camp 10-12 july

2007-07-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

I am back from BONDUE camp 2007!

It is quite happening. HAHA. Some of the group members met on 9 july (the night before the camp) and we chatted online. The next day, we bought breakfast (8 sets) for our group fellow freshies and for facis (facilitators) as well. In the end, we are left with like 5 sets. GOSH. haha. but we are quite a funny bunch of people. hohoho. Our facis are funny and cool people! FOREST and HUIMIN! whee!

Apparently our group - Group 16 has the most handsome/cute guys in BONDUE camp run 1. HAHAHA. we have only three boys and all three boys are apparently kinda cute. lol.

we played station games! It is really crazy. The first station is Dodgeball where we have to protect our king who will be dodging the balls. Once she gets hitted, she will be out. I was the King. It was kinda scary man. I was the only one left!! against 3 other people in the opponent group. haha and the guys look like they wanted to kill me. lol.

we went on to do even more crazy things! We passed grapes between our mouths. I practically kissed another boy. OMG OMG OMG OMG. sick. I had to roll eggs up a guys pants and down the other leg of his pants. across his crotch. YES.

I practically dunked my head into the disgusting egg solution with like leftover food, dinner etc. We did commando crawl and we had to burst balloons by sitting on a guy's lap. GOSH. i did all this. I DID ALL THIS in just one day.

We went to old changi hospital. crazy siah. we had to perform a task and we had to pair up. haha. in the end i paired up with cedric who kept saying that he's scared but he's not. we performed one task each pair and we had to pick up hell notes. i was damn scared and i was practically holding onto cedric. GOD. so embarrassing.

On top of that, we stayed in Changi Chalet. we practically had to sleep on the floor can. we had only one bed and it was occupied by girls so connie, me, cedric and eugene slept on the floor. we went down to take cushions and laid in 4 by 3. haha. the cushions kept shifting and we kept waking up in the middle of the night to adjust. HAHAHA. it was really funny. OMG. haha. cedric slept next to me and in the middle of the night, he woke up and was shocked because i had long hair. OMG. HAHAHA.

The second day

we woke up! yeah! We went for amazing race. We played some very sick games and almost quarrelled with the people inother groups. We went for fast track and we played dodgeball like after 30minutes of quarrel. lol. anyway, i was carried up the tree and ate an apple with eugene. can u believe it. my butt was in e face of another guy. OMG. YUCKS

update more later. working now.

gathering w zh, yh, ty and zy

2007-07-08T19:42:00.000+08:00

yeah. it's kinda weird today. Gathering with zh, yh, ty and zy. haha. only andersonians know them. well. one of the names might be familiar to my nj friends.

After i met him today, a little feeling came back. haha. just a little. I wasn't the old me who joked with my friends, not the usual laughter, not the usual things i say. not the usual behaviour. He still has something over me. I still have something for him. I seriously got to let him go. He obviously doesn't like me but i obviously still have something for him. i know it and i try to hide it. I do hide it. i know i am super successful at doing it.

We went to watch a movie and i was wearing shorts. I couldn't be bothered wearing jeans. lol. Anyway, he was wearing a jacket over his tee shirt and i had to ask him for his jacket because it was kinda cold. lol. [I did not purposely plan this.] Well, yeah I got his jacket and i was using it to cover myself. i smell it. hahaa. i know i sound like a psycho but i couldn't not smell it because i was using it to cover myself! like duh~! But it smell clean, no cologne (like other guys). haha. That's kinda weird. OH GOD. i really sound like psycho.

He is still as cute. I really have something for him. He still makes my heart beat faster. He's eyecandy material but not just eyecandy. At least we are talking now. He asked me which school i go to and stuff.

I should let him go right. it has been four years. way back in secondary 3. (yr 2003) wow. that's hell long.

it's time to. Perhaps when someone take over your place.

To dear marco: haha this is not about you but your name is here at least. take care in manila!

Her final day.

2007-07-06T00:36:00.001+08:00

Before i dive into how-i-was-about-to-cry when she left and blah blah blah, let me update about wednesday.

Wednesday, 4th jul

I met her for breakfast at 10am. She looked SOOOOOOOOO tired. Anyway, I met her at Inncrowd for breakfast and i bought soya bean curd, ice jelly, Carrot cake and sui ge. She didn't like it. gosh. hahaha. i had to practically dumped all the nice soya bean curd, ice jelly, EVERYTHING down the bin. =S lol.

After breakfast, she didn't even want to go out! oh gosh. twae-ji! (pig!) So we sat around and watched dvds and it was ju-on at first? It was BORING. it wasn't even funny. It was just boring! (When I say it's boring, it is REALLY boring.) Anyway, her baek-in 1 and baek-in 2 were sitting with us there in front of the television. She didn't even dare to say hello to her baek-in 1 which was this pretty hot guy (whom we guessed to be about our age?). And she was sitting within close proximity to him and didnt even dare to speak. gosh. AND HE LEFT FOREVER.

We continued to sit in front of the tv and watched some stupid show. gosh. i was so SICK OF IT. then i left for work. I had to reach GB at 2pm? so i left at around 1 plus pm. Basically i work till around 5pm then i left for Cityhall mrt. wow. She was early at Cityhall Mrt! Both of us went to find atiqah at Starbucks at Raffles City and she still was having her Korean exchg meeting so we went window shopping. lol. She said Guess is much cheaper in Singapore than in Korea. In Korea, Guess is Pi-ssa-da (expensive-said to frens, pi-ssa-yo is said to seniors). After we met atiqah, we all left for Boat Quay and Clarke Quay.

Upon reaching Boat Quay and Clarke Quay, we walked around the area and she took pictures of the back alley of the offices and i asked her, 'wae-yo? (why?)' and she said, ' because there is many air-cons' and i said,' is there no air-cons in korea?' and she said,'all offices have air-con' hahaa. what? Anyway we walked along the river and finally stumped upon this indian restaurant with BEAUTIFUL view. gosh. it was breath-taking (FINE. i am exaggerating) and the food was good and the waiter was nice and stuff. I love it. i will definitely visit it again when i am richer. =))

Anyway, pictures of that will be up soon! =D

Hmm after clarke quay, we walked along the singapore river, down to Merlion Walk and we took a bus down to La par Sat for her to see, then atiqah went home first and we went to clarke quay to go to MOS and i lost my way there. HOW EMBARRASSING FOR A LOCAL TO LOSE HER WAY especially in a place FULL of people. Yes. i was lost and i asked for directions. haha. and when we reached there, she was like. I REGRET. I REGRET. loll.

anywya we went back to hostel and we started chatting and we met this other korean guy. meo-shii-tta? at first, i thought yes but actually no. So we started chatting and debating like the culture of korea. i asked him several questions.

1. Are korean man wife-beaters?
Ans: OF COURSE NOT, just like in other countries, alcoholics or those with psychological problems do that.

2. Are women of a lower status than men in the working society?
Ans: 10 yrs ago, in the law arena, there're about 80% man and 20% women. (lawyer is considered a very professional and highly-regarded job) Now, there's 60% women and 40% men!

3. Are korean guys meo-shii-tta like hyun bin, rain?
Ans: no.

DARN.

lol. anyway, i left inncrowd for fun! finally!

5th jul -her last day.

i will update this tomorrow. I am tired. pi-gon hae-yo.
1.breakfast
2. hanging out w marco and a-young.
3. work.
4. rushing back.
5. rushing to bugis.
6.air-port.
7. an-nyeong~!

shucks. i am sad.

2007-07-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

Looking back at my entries, it is really funny. It all starts with 'it's a short day'. well it is short. lol.

Today is also a short day! much shorter day! I met her at 1pm today at Inncrowd for lunch. I brought along the vegeterian noodles that my mom bought for me. She brought her lunch as well. It was seaweed (kim) and rice (pap) and a weird looking sauce-red hot pepper! Anyway she demonstrated to me the way to make my own kim pap. haha. She gave me one whole tube of red hot chilli pepper! woo! =)))

After lunch, we saw meo-shi-ta nam-ja (cute guys) that are ang-mohs which she likes. lol. and we started watching scary movie 4 with them but we didn't talk! hmm anyway we watched scary movie 4 with them but we didn't talk. Anyway after scary movie 4, i left with her to sentosa! we went to sheng siong to buy three bottles of water then we headed down to sentosa.

First stop!
Trapizza at Siloso Beach. We ordered spaghetti (i forgot the name) and Trapizza Inferno. It was delicious. ma-shii-e-ta! i love it. We took a lot of pictures and the irritating peacock keep disturbing us! Atiqah joined us and she finished two pieces of pizzza. =))

second stop!
Luge and Sky ride. We took the sky ride first. OMG. I was damn scared. When i was going up, i was damn scared of the height! when we came down, my knees were practically shaking. =S =S
Then we headed for Luge! Although i was the first one to go, i was the last one to reach! hahaha. i was dman scared. lol. but it was very very very very fun!!! haha i am starting to talk like her. omg. lol.

third stop!
Songs of the Sea!
I met this french couple and their children and i kept playing with the little girl who was 3.5 years old. She was such a pretty girl. i-bbe-ta! very cute too! ahah. Songs of the sea was good. i love it. it was worth the money.

4th stop!
We went to palawan beach, hoping that we can go to the southest most point of Asia but unluckily, it was closed! and it was closed like on 3rd july which was today(okay, yesterday). Then we just walked along the beach, playing with water. lol. it was really fun.

5th stop!
Inncrowd. i sent her home to inncrowd! I wanted to eat kim pap so much that she brought down her last bowl of microwave rice. hahahah. we started talking and giving our cute guys names! like caucasians in korean is baek-in (white people) so we gave our two meo-shi-ta nam-ja nicknames baek-in 1 and baek-in 2. lol.

i learnt a few new words today!
mi cheot dda- crazy
A ship da - Aiyah/Aiyo (in singlish)
Jib e ga za - Let's go home.
(pronounced as Ji be ga za)
Ga Za- let's go.
bbeon bbeon ha-da - shameless.
baek-in - caucasians
hwan-in - asians.

It is really funny how it sounds chinese..

i am gonna miss her. even now, i am talking to her online. okay i got to sleep. tomorrow is a lOOOOOOOOOOONG day.
meeting her for breakfast then we will hang out before i go work then she will go shopping alone and with tiq. after that we will go Zouk/MOS.

OH NO. tomorrow is the second last day =((

i am praying that alvin lets me send her home. i can't wait to quit from gb. so irritating.

A-young Visit Day 3

2007-07-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

We did very little today! [It seems as though there are very little places she wants to go in Singapore. On her last day, she wants to just chill out at Inncrowd. ahha. she is a lazy pig. lol.]

I met her at 12pm today at Inncrowd. AS USUAL, she woke up late. haha. i am used to it. then i went downstairs and chatted with one of the owners' brother. He is from England and was telling me like why he came to singapore and stuff. It is kind of cool. He split up with his girlfriend and they had a house and they split the money from selling the house and he is on a trip! hmm and i told him that is something Singaporeans will NEVER do. i mean yeah.. we will never do that!

anyway, we ate lunch at inncrowd. haha. the menu was just instant noodles. she taught me a method to eat instant noodles without a spoon. hahah. it was really fun! hmm. in labs, when we have to filter liquids, we folded the filter paper. haha. and she did it to the cover of the instant noodles~! so we had a small cone-shaped spoon and we put our noodles on it! so cutey~! anywya, i lost my card reader but i will upload the pictures again! yah and we played foosball. table soccer basically. she learnt really fast. damn. i lost to her in the final rounds but anyway, we saw two hot angmohs playing pool but we both didn't say anything. haha i didn't realise she likes the ang mohs as well. hahaha. [she's really opening up to me =)] - she told me when i was about to go home. lol.

anyway, after the foosball games, we left for Queensway shopping centre straightaway. haha. we were both so tired that we almost fall asleep on the bus. haha when i saw a bug flying around, i 'sham-ed' then she was like what? then i said bug. she was wide awake. HAHHAHAHAHA. it was really funny! then we went to look for her football jersery for Korea. lol. and we saw gen! =))
after that, i put her off in a cab to little india while i headed for work. When i turned on the computer and went online, it was really funny because she was online at Inncrowd as well. ahhaha. BUT WOW today i got a scare. her mother sent me an email in korean to ask her to call back. i couldn't understand at all. In the end, i had to call up inncrowd to ask her to check her email because i fwded the email to her. hahaha. i really felt like her oh-ma. gosh.

anyway, atiqah went to pick her up for dinner. and they headed to arab street for dinner like malay food and they chatted a bit. lol. and we walked down to bugis village but she felt like everything was similar to korea. the shopping. lol. so we left pretty fast but i introduced her to some chinese food with prawn and twae ji go gi. haha. and we had a lot of laughter and private jokes in between. haha. she started making fun of me haha. so i guess we are not that u know distant now.lol.

it was really fun today and heartwarming. sentosa tomorrow! yeah! luge! songs of the sea! yeah!

i am gonna be real sad when she leaves.

List of things to buy for her!
1. BA GUA
2. the prawn thingy.

more more. lol. her nickname is pig cat cuz she's fat and when she smiles, she looks like a cat. hmm. a little. lol. hehs.

okay. off to bed now. long day tomorrow.

annyeong-hi chumuseyo!

2007-07-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

today was a short day! hahah. hmm.

I met her at Little India and we headed to Vivocity. She headed for the food court in Vivocity straightaway. FOOD. pae-ga ko p'a yo. (i am hungry) She missed kimchii! ahahah it was funny because she really likes kim chi'i. She started taking photos of the stall and she said that pan ch'an (side dishes) is really little. The ra-men is pi ssa-yo (expensive) because it is just instant noodles. ne.

After a little while in Vivocity, she wanted to go to Far East Plaza to see. ahha. she is quite fickle-minded. So we went down to orchard road. After she went to Basement 1, she wanted to leave straightaway because she said it's totally the same as Korean. She wanted the pumps in top shop only. So we went to Top Shop in wisma and bought the shoes. After buying the pumps, we went to Charles and Keith to get shoes and bag (ka bun). After that, we went out to buy the il-dullar ice cream at the roadside. Then we walked walked walked to Mango and looked at some other clothes. then we left and went to takashimaya to try the food. She bought the tako pachi but she didn't like. ahahah. she practically HATED it. lol. She bought some bread as well. hmm. she likes to eat bread.

[NB: i must buy ba gua for her. ]

After that we stepped out to the Singapore Food Festival! haha. I got for her free chilli crabs then the surveyor came over and asked us a lot of questions. I practically have to translate to her which i cannot at all. hahaha. it was really funny. A simple sam-ship seconds (30s) survey took around ship-bun. (10 mins) Today was really short. After which, we left for inncrowd and she showered and we left for my home. =)) We met my family at Yishun Mrt Station and then, we left for dinner. She really like chilli because she can just eat the chilli without anything. hahaha. omg. It was like eating SWEET! After that we came back to my home which was super messy but she took a picture nonetheless and then i went to visit gina and baby (a-gi) esthervina! haha. She was so excited to see Esthervina (i-bbe-da!--> pretty!) and she took pictures of her and gina's wedding photos. It is really funny because gina's mother likes korean so much that we had a sketch book containing their photos and all their videos. A-young took a picture of that! haha. and all her videos. lol.

Then we left for home!

okay! i am meeting her tomorrow for lunch at Inncrowd. guess what's the menu?
Korean Instant Noodles and Singaporean Instant noddles! haha.
places she wants to visit: Arab Street, Haji Lane, Vivocity, Far east plaza (again), Bugis village, clarke quay,boat quay, singapore river area, sentosa, queensway shopping centre. chinatown.

that's about it.

things she wants to buy: souvenir, earrings for her friends.

A-young visit day II

2007-07-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

I am super tired!

Updates!

29 jun 2007, friday
Straight after i closed shop, i took a cab from Goldhill Centre to Changi Airport. The taxi driver was telling me he was actually quite a newbie (sorta) because he has only drove for like one year and one month. ( il-nyeon-il-tal) and it was quite scary because the driver has been in two accidents and before he was a taxi driver, he was caught for drink driving! =S i wonder why he is so brave to tell me that! Anyway, when i reached there, i couldn't tell who is a-young. (pronounced as a-yong) haha because i was already late! i had to look around and i saw a lady with her head down and when she looked up, it was her! haha. we had a quick hug and said an-nyeong! (i didn't really expected this!) i wanted to introduce my self. ahhaha. anyway it was really funny. we grab all the tourists brochures and climbed onto the mrt and headed for the Inncrowd hotel. (it is a really cool place. talk about it later) haha.

Being the usual Axejay, (okay i admit) i spotted a cute guy on the train. then i asked her how to say boy in korean. She replied nam-ja. Then i asked how do you say 'cool', 'handsome'? she replied meo-sit-da. haha. That guy had a tattoo and was wearing a black tee-shirt. i pointed to the word 'black' in the dictionary and she got it! she gestured with her arm to show the tattoo on the nam-ja's arm! then i said black shirt's chin-gu meo sit da. then she said. Ye ( yes) hahaha.

Then i settled her in and i left!

30th june

I reached the inncrowd at 9.10am? (a-hop-shi ship-ppun) She wasn't awake! so we got a shock and felt really really bad towards her. While waiting for her, i chatted with this guy called Stephen who was from the States.

[The Inncrowd backpackers are really cool. It is about 25 dollars a night, which is i-ship-o dullar. Free internet access for 30 minutes (sam-ship ppun) -I AM GETTING USED TO IT BECAUSE I DID NOT REFER! there's this couch that people can sit there and chill and talk. ]

I chatted with Stephen, gave him a few pointers here and there on the areas which he shoulld have visited but too bad, he left for m'sia although he didn't really finish going to certain areas. I really had fun chatting with him and peiling was arguing with him throughout the entire trip. What was funny was that we all took neo-prints and because all of us cannot communicate properly , it was pretty funny because a lot of screaming was going on. lol.

well. stephen. i hope i see you again!

We proceeded to walk around little india with stephen. omg. It was so hot. So we walked around little india, citylink mall, a little of suntec, bugis junction, not bugis village. It was horrible man. i felt so bad towards a-young that she didn't see much because it is so hot. teo-weo-yo. haha and we were walking around quite aimless but she was HAPPY. to have shoes that she wants to buy in top shop. She wanted to buy 2 pairs of pumps at TOP SHOP at ONE go. oh my god. but i kept in mind that she wants the black pair of shoes and the biege one.

We were watching the soccer match but she was not happy at all. I kept asking her P'i gon hae-yo? which means are you tired? and are you thirsty? Mok-i mal-la-yo? are you hungry? Pae-ga ko-p'a-yo? and she kept replying Pae-ga pu-leo (i am full). In the end, when we were watching the soccer match, during half-time she said she wanted to go back. She was tired and i tthink she had a little heat stroke so we took a cab home and she went for a bath. while waiting for her, i chatted with Mas (A thai) and Susan(Mas' girlfriend-american) and introduced them some places to go to. It was really really fun.

After she came out of the shower, i borrowed her towel and i went to bathe. =p even though i am not a backpacker. =P. i was dying from heatstroke! After the bath, we started talking. I made her converse with me in english. Kept forcing her to use her dictionary. lol. I found out both of us like Huan Zhu Ge Ge. yes i know it's ages ago. ahah but she liked too. it was really funny. we were talking about Little Swallow's husband(pun-gun) , Little Swallow, Ziwei, Erkang and Jin Suo. She doesn;t like Jin Suo and her favourite characters are Little Swallow and Wu A-ge. lol. it was really funny because she animated the scene where little swallow flying from tree to tree and we both remembered the scene where she put on her knee paddling just to avoid kneeling. lol.

We chatted a lot and she taught me more on korean. I forced her to take a lot of pictures so she can remember singapore. She taught me a lot of korean and more. later when i wake up, i need to write down all the places we are going in the day.

tomorrow she's coming over for dinner. how exciting.

An-nyeong hi chu-mu-se-yo!
Nae-il Bo-ja!

2007-06-28T19:17:00.001+08:00

OMG. you just got to watch it. THIS BABY IS SO CUTE!

watch it!

2007-06-27T16:46:00.000+08:00

i am suddenly missing everyone. haha.

all my primary school, secondary school, jc friends. from all walks of lives. be it council, npcc, yec, * scape workgroup, syc. EVERYONE. Perhaps because we are donning our uniform for jeans and tee shirts or even shorts, that we are feeling weird right now. like.

this is my last four years/three years of school life.

It seems so sudden. It is time to grow up already. I don't really want to. haha. i want a campus university life yet something that will allow me to transit into the working world smoothly. i guess that's why i chose SMU.

I asked NYC toapayoh branch. They told me i could go for m'sia and singapore cultural exchange at the end of this year. hmmm. i am considering. haha. i must ask for a recommendation letter but i could ask grace. but the one i really want to go is SSEAYP. for 50 days i get to travel on a boat. how shiok is that but i must become a PA volunteer again, meaning under YEC which i dont want. haha. i mean i have moved on. Woodlands YEC is good but my passion lies in helping these youths on a greater scale.

my next project
Project Dance-edge (dec 07)
50 at-risk youths come together and undergo trainings every Saturday. At the end of the year, they will be holding their concert on 1st Dec ( if i remember correctly) at the Esplanade. It is a contemporary dance concert. I hope everything goes well. I want to understand these youths and help them along the way.

100 Chairs 2 (dec 08)

We are still exploring the idea and keeping our options open i guess. haha.

met up with shawn on monday night (? i forgot) omg. we are damn funny creatures man. we talk a lot of nonsense can. REALLY. A LOT. ahhaha.

ahh. busy busy.
tomorrow morning orientation at NYC at 10am.
tuition at Qi Na's house.
after that working. starts at 6pm.

friday 29th!
SHE TOUCHES DOWN!
morning- health check up.
afternoon-night
work
night!
PICK her up from airport--> proceed to little india. walk a little of orchard road.

saturday 30th
we will be going to little india! breafast at little india. After which we will go shopping in bugis or esplanade for a while. then we will proceed to national stadium =))

2007-06-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

It has been a crazy week!

i finally met up with natg, weihao, melvin and david lee! yeah! ahahha. it was fun. poor weihao had to pair up with me for tandem. haha. we were all having abrasions after a day of cycling. hehs.

my penpal Yeo A-Young is finally coming! it's gonna be an exciting week ahead for me. I have to plan my work, volunteering and cultural exchange with her. i look like a totally geek with a guidebook in my hand where-ever i go now! i keep learning korean and i think i am picking up! jeez.

haha
friday 29th june
Touch down in singapore at 915. will pick her up. then proceed to her hostel. after that we will go to orchard for a short walk. =))

saturday 30th june
morning breakfast and walk at little india. after which we will go to bugis for a short shopping trip before heading down to national stadium for a concert -tribute to national stadium.

Sunday 1st jul
not yet decided. dinner with my family.

wednesday

clubbing at zouk.

ahh. so many things going on!

oh yesh. i am rather excited over SMU! there's this cip project for NDP. =)) sounds totally fun. i hope i can join in! =))

2007-06-19T10:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.

i have been thinking about a couple of things.

charisma is wanting to know about others and not you.

i understand that now. why we hate arrogant people because they are all so self-absorbed.

I AM SO TIRED.

2007-06-17T20:50:00.000+08:00

i am so tired. i am working from working 13 hours a day. or working from 2 to 10pm, reaching home at 11 plus then finally settling down in front of the com, working on my part-time job of typying mathematics solutions for test paper.

money. is such an issue.

optimism.

optimism lady.

keep going.

you got your overseas exchange program in your plan, you got to make it work.

and my mom's not feeling great today. i am so sorry natg, krystle, alyssa, chock, weihao, david for stooding up on you guys. i just couldn't get e time to get to my phone.

argh! i am hating myself nowadays.

save save save. enough shoppping i should think but i really need to get one more pair of jeans. i only honestly have 1 pair. the other is a 3/4.

i am so scared and yet so excited about going smu.

and i keep reminding myself.

a true leader sees the best in others. don't even judge others before you see them girl.

KEEP GOING!!!

=)

my latest dream job! hahah.

1. investment banker
2. mfa
3. work in non-profit organisation.

well. i guess the most plausible one is 3. hahaha. but all the money is in one. e world's unfair. haha. you make the most money out of people.

2007-06-17T14:23:00.000+08:00

haha. i haven't been updating! gosh.

it's been a whirlwind ride this week. my penpal mentioned that she might be visiting me! wooo hooo! but she's facing strong objections from her parents. I am thinking of visiting her on my own but my parents are objecting fiercely as well. arghhh. i feel so helpless. I seriously think i am old enough to take care of myself. i am already 19 years old.

SOMEONE IS BACK!!!! KHOO~~~. hahaha. i miss her alot. welcome back!

I made a new fren this week and we met up quite a couple of times this week. In case my girlfriends are wondering if he's a new guy in my life, yes, he is. but he's a guy-friend. hahaha. we met up at novena yesterday to have dinner and we went to a thai restaurant. the waiter was so nice that we wanted to order a drink for him but he didn't charge it to the bill in the end! Carlos was soooo nice ( the waiter). anyway, dexter ordered lemon grass drink and i couldn't remember what was it until i drank his drink and i realised that it was the fragance for my feet lotion! HHAHAHA. omg. haha. yah we sorta click but it's a true platonic relationship. i respect that man. =)

i went shopping yesterday (again)! it was kinda cool. i got my indiana skirt along with new shorts and earrings. i didn't get my nice jeans. boo hoo.

i am excited about going to smu! cool! i want to get this nice top that the girl in the show 'seducing mr perfect' wore when she went on a cruise with him.

i am kinda scared but kinda anticipating now. i really thinking about the book that i bought. 21 ways to leadership or something like that by maxwell.

if you want people to look to you, listen to them, and not make them listen to you. that's charisma. i agree. that's really charisma. because you are willing to listen to them, the sincerity shows. every bit of it.

i love wad he said as well.

talent is a gift. character is a choice.

true. that is very true. in this world, we have so many choices laid in front of us. What we choose really determines who we are and what we see determines what we choose and what who we are determines what we see.

it's a cycle. interesting.

i bought a cute little dress for estervina! sweet little one with silver printing on it. it was matched with a little hat. cutie pie!

dealing w psycho parents and teachers.

2007-06-12T08:59:00.000+08:00

i can't believe it. Some parents are such a bitch. OMG. she actually called me a no-brainer. like. WAD THE F.I am totally FRUSTRATED. well she asked some questions like asking on the rates and things that i was actually waiting for her to ack by going'uh huh..' 'yes' and she said,' is there sth wrong with your brains or not huh? how come u cannot reply my qn properly?'
wah. i even more angry can. like wad de hell. she asked is this a tuition centre.I answered ,'yes' perhaps a little softer. then she went on to ask teacher come to my place or i go to ur place? i replied ONE SECOND later and i got a serious darnscolding. you're not answering my question. is that sth wrong w ur brain?

LIKE WAD DE HELL. omg. i hate. this kind of people.
RUDE. and think that they are e biggest in the world.
argh!
and some teachers too think that they are the biggest in the world. omg.
these people seriously need to do something to their lives.
for once, stop being self-absorbed when you are grown up.

haha. okay. i wrote this entry when i was frustrated. well. i guess i can be kinda mean when i am frustrated. haha.

and i found a nice webbie on the website while i was scouting for nice articles!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_(season_1)

2007-06-11T09:26:00.000+08:00

gosh. i cannot stand it. I am working in a tuition center and i have to coordinate classes with irritating students. hahaha. yah. like seriously irritating people who want things their way. gosh.

i still haven't find my nice white blouse! i wanted to get one nice long sleeve white blouse that's like loose, but it's fresh white to match my maybe 3-quarters khaki pants (which i haven't got) and a nice short sleeve blouse with a little collar which i saw in a levi advertisement by a female korean actress. i wish i can find the perfect nice little casual top. rawrs. but i can't find it.

i got to get my nice red wedges that i have been scouting for.

this is one damn nice website
http://www.levi.com.sg/staytrue07/main.html
go to it!

2007-06-10T19:30:00.000+08:00

OKAY. everything's fine. FALSE alarm 2. I remember that there was another false alarm about my father's job in my o level year too. I was much more stressesd then. But, it affected me now but i guess i am more calm than before.

I have much more opportunities to work now if i go SMU!

1. i am doing voluntary work at NYC, in charge of certain projects that are MAJOR =)) I am going to be paid if i take up these projects like a 'full-time' basis, meaning i study at SMU, after that, i will just go the NYC and work! =) one stone kills two birds. YESH. i am getting paid 600 bucks a month. On top of that, i am teaching tuition now . So i have 200 bucks. WA. i am going to overwork man. 800 bucks a month is not alot but it's worth it! =)

i just spend around 400 bucks MAX a month. i will just save up 400 bucks. a total of 48 months in four years= 400x48=19200. OKAY. i will SAVE SAVE SAVE!

2. I have picked up dance classes at LA dance connection. FINALLY. i always wanted to do that but i didn't dare to. I guess i was inferior but i have decided. I want to do that. It's an expression! =)) I saw krystle, stephanie and melissa at the studio as well! hopefully, they will get the scholarship =)

3. I am going to continue watching these shows" super rookie'' and ''korean secret agency'' and
'the classic' 'a moment to rmb' n 'a millionaire's first love' n 'guys n talks'.
haha. yeahhh!!!

okay. i am kinda tired. rawrs.

SMU~ can't wait.

employment

2007-06-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

....

Yesterday i was happily accepting SMU.

today. a bomb struck me. haha. my father told me that he might be retrenched. 50% chance of retrenchment.

if you are employed, then 100% chance of pay reduction.

ISN'T IT EQUAL TO 100% of pay reduction?! It is just a matter of how much your pay is reduced and how much it REMAINS.

great isn't it?

If my dad loses his job... My home's per capita income would be 400- my sister would be the sole breadwinner. haha. crap man. I don't know whether to rejoice or to cry. i would make the mark for all the bursary. WOO HOO. sob.

All these are speculation. i certainly hope so.

choices.

2007-06-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

life is full of choices.

We all want choices. but do we really want? haha. all my friends say that they rather the universities reject them.

i guess i have been thinking so much that my thoughts are so philosophical. hahaha.

More of SMU.

I will be thinking over it seriously tonight then tml i will make my choice. definitely. tomorrow.

oyasumi-nasai.

dilemmia

2007-05-29T19:31:00.000+08:00

i just told my dad that i want to go SMU. His reply was... just go and study. i shall see what i can do.

i know this sounds normal but it means a lot to me. coming from a home where money is very important, my parents are worried that the interest will kill me if i go smu. i have no time. tomorrow's wednesday already. i need to call up SMU and ask them some questions. my parents believe that the interest is going to kill me. A smu education. is it really worth that much? i only know that if i am a SMU undergraduate, i would be more 'aggressive'. i can't do sales now. SMU would train me to be that.

32k in a total of four years is alot. it is really a lot. hai. now i am wishing money would drop from the sky.

2007-05-29T12:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm. i haven't been updating. let's see.

Friday-shopping with D-O-R-E-A. i bought a dress from forever 21-73 bucks. O-U-C-H CAN. it is super duper expensive. wad else did i buy. oh yes. i bought a hairband from diva. i loooooove it. on top of that. i bought a bag from chomel. haha. it was super discounted. from 59 to 29. HO!

on saturday night, i went to see aristal! it was not bad. quite good. although one of my good frens went outside to cry. ( i didn't know till she told me. i hope she's alright. hai.)

on sunday afternoon, i went to do a roadshow. it's a stupid thing alright. i am not going to do it anymore. ahhaha. it's a horrible thing. really horrible.

ah. on monday! i went shopping yesterday! hohohohoho. HOHOHOHOHOHO. i bought...

2 tops from Forever 21-each 28 bucks.
a pair of sandals that i have been eyeing FOREVER. at charles and keith-27.90
2 bras from la senza- SALES-36 bucks for 2! hohoho!!!

now lemme do a check on my clothes for university. hmm. hahaha. kinda stupid. alrighty.

tee shirts-3 brown, 1 black
spag-1 grey one from MNG! my fav.
tankie-1 black, 1 grey ( from natg), 1 purple(MNG!) -love mng basics now.
dresses-1 from hurs (www.hurs.com.sg i love them), 3 from F21- my peacock, pokka dots, and a baby blue doll dress.
shoes-1 black wedge-love it!, my grey heels with white embriodery are back! i managed to fix them. , 1 pair of sandals.
jeans-1 pair of jeans >.<, one 3 quarters.
skirts-4 pairs?

OKAY. i have a lot of clothes. i just need about 2 pairs of jeans now. hoho! yeah! basics basics. i love basics.

that's all. wow. that's a lot of shopping in 1 few months.

2007-05-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

I went to watch spider man 3 alone. Haha.
A lot of people who read my blog might be thinking a couple of things right.

here's some comments by my friends.

'HUH!!!! you watch spiderman ALONE!! why never ask ur army guy friends. they surely havent watched it here!!' [woah. there's a real harsh remark.]

'WHADDDD! don't you feel lonely and weird!!'

OKAY. It's totally untrue. I was enjoying myself! hahaha. SERIOUS. I was a bit retarded though. I bought the tickets at 4pm for the show at 5pm and i bought the popcorns and drinks at 4pm as well. Then after i bought the popcorn and drinks i realised that it was only 4pm. hahahaha. so i had to put my drink into my plastic bag and deposit my popcorn at the counter. ahhaha.

and then i had to visit the washroom. haha i had to carry my plastic bag in a way that i make sure no one actually saw that i brought my drink into the toilet because it was so embarrassing.

wow. Cathay causeway started just 5 minutes after 5pm. [cool. i love their punctuality.]

Anyway, as i was sitting in the cinema alone, i see people walk in with their partners , meaning either gf/bf or family. I was starting to feel a little lonely.

However, i remembered a quote of Prof morrie in Tuesday with Morrie. He said that it's the culture that makes us afraid to be who we are, to do things that we are afraid to do. For example, we don't wear high socks even though it's cold because it makes us look like geeks. [not that it happens in singapore] Then i realised that people don't watch movies alone or rather, people seldom watch movies alone because it makes them look lonely, w/o friends, cold etc. (which is not true)

Then, i felt proud of myself and i wrote this in my phone as a note to blog it down when i return home.

As i sat alone in the cineman, i was thinking, 'hey. i'm fighting the culture man!' The culture is not to watch movie alone and people seem astonish if you watch movie alone because
it goes against the culture. Prof morrie was right.

Perhaps it will take some time to get used to it but i should get used to it. If i were to go SMU, where the culture is more of a play and spend culture (if), i should not follow the culture and play and spend. I should not. i would never.

I am doing up my finances now more or less. weighing the costs and benefits. My brother says that if i go NTU, i would be a big fish in a small pond and if i go SMU, i will be a small fish in a big pond. I agree. SMU is competitive by nature. I wanted everything in the program itself. I wanted to go on an overseas internship before i entered university. HOW COOL IS THAT. hahaha. I am going to do the Work and study USA either in NTU or SMU.

i am trying not to pay my school fees at all in these four years and save up for BSM in dubai, exchg prog with carnegie mellon and overseas internships program. Hopefully i can get into Upenn. [which is the school that everyone wants to go. then i can bunk in with alyssa. i haven't mention this to her yet. haha.]

this is if i have the moneey lar. hahaha. so i am seriously consider if i really want to go SMU. i have more or less made my decision. i just need some replies from SMU and NTU regarding some money questions. hahaha.

here are some of my considerations.
1. program.
2.establishment
3.costs.
4. valued.
5. hostel life.
6. exposure.

I have various reasons to go NTU and not SMU.

My rankings!

1. program.
2. costs.
3. exposure- i am one that loves exposure.
4. costs.
5.valued.
6.hostel life.

how am i going to study to get past these four years if my studying environment at home is not conducive. ahhhh.

i need to find resilence and set my goals. keeping my goals fixed.

2007-05-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

I have some information on NTU admissions. I have finally started!
On a sidenote, i was talking to mandy and i found out she has become so cheena. OMG.

NTU

School fees
Academic Yr 07/08
S$6,110

List of Partner universities
NO information

SMU

School fees
7500 for fy2007/2008
8300 for 08/09 onwards.

List of Partner universities
Carnegie Mellon University- strong in FAB-Finance and Banking
UPenn- Wharton School of Business

SMU's school fees are enough to turn me off.

2007-05-19T10:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday marks the official end of my teaching stint in NJC. (although i still have to mark papers) I have finished my current job. OH YES!!!

KUDOS to S02 for giving me and miss alisha gill a farewell party.

I am considering whether i should do a reflection on my short-lived teaching career in njc. hahaha. it's kind of ridiculous to do this isn't it? This is one of the things that one would like to think: Since it's over, it's over.

I just think that i have grown more maturally. more sensible. Perhaps, a little less emotional, hence less impulsive or less 'anger' inside me.

I grew to be more cautious of my appearance. The message i am sending out to other people as a person. I grew to learn to take things easy. I had a chance to have a bird-eye's view on things and i realised that people hold on to things too tightly, unwilling to let things go.

I mean i have seen that but it doesn't mean that i won't hold on to things too tightly. Perhaps i should say i am more rational, less emotional that before. I see kids screaming, cheering out during their sportsday and i was nonchalant. I seemed to have lost my passion in life. haha. I seemed to be more. MATURE.

Perhaps i will still be screaming my throat out on sportsday when i go university or i will be those can't-be-bothered-go-n-scream-ur-throat-out person. hahaha.

okay. i have developed a fetish for investigation games recently.
www.fugitivehunter.com is one good one. i caught osama. hahaa.

http://escapetheroom.blogspot.com is another one! =)

2007-05-16T23:08:00.000+08:00

i got a surprise from my ex-supervisior in MCYS.

Skippok: Mippok says:
ah girl
JinGz no more candies, they only give toothaches. Supplements are in! says:
yup?
Skippok: Mippok says:
u ok or not?
Skippok: Mippok says:
I miss your cheerful self

Thanks Bus driver. I miss myself too.

I can't wait for my teaching stint to end. I feel like a lousy teacher. I officially had my last lessons with my IP kids today. I will miss them a lot. I think i enjoyed my lessons with them the most. More than the JC1. I should have brought my camera along. It's afterall my last lessons with them. Probably i can drop by and take one last photo with them. haha. it's kinda stupid.

I am thinking if i am really going go hard on myself. I expect myself to produce quality results while i am still a new teacher. haha. i was not even trained.

i have lessons with 07S02 and 07S03 tomorrow. i am kind of worried. I am born a worrier i guess. hahah.

you know what?
i really miss my cheerful self.
i miss the council term (investiture today).
i miss the crazy things i did.
I miss the crazy things we did in class.
I miss the passion.
I miss the drive i had.
I miss the way i welcomed everything like a challenge.
I miss the sense of attachment.

I miss happiness.

4 more days to official end of my teaching career

2007-05-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

Mr Eng told me that i have to prepare a passdown asap.

Passdown to the new IP maths teacher-chan shi yun
Passdown to the new JC1 maths teacher-steven lee

I am feeling quite lousy now, thinking whether i screwed up my students' results. Yes. It is only a lecture test but the least i could is to revise with them on the different topicsc but there is no time at all. I can only try my best to help them. This is only year 1.

I don't want to push the blame to others when it is actually my fault.

ARGH

education is sacred.

treat it with care.

I am leaving soon. Give it one last shot. Do it well. End it well.

rawrs.

i am in the feel-sorry-for-myself-mood now. haha. wad e hell.

Marking
1. revision exercises
2. functions assignment
3. IP2 tests
4. IP2 mock tests

INCOMING
Vectors ex 22.1 and ex 22.2

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

NUTS NUTS NUTS

my friend came up with a survey for potential university students entering smu or ntu.

1. lectures or classrooms
2. 3 yrs or 4 years
3. hostels ?

it's kinda short. haha.

lectures-ntu
classrooms-smu

3yrs-ntu
4yrs-smu

hostels yes-ntu

haha she was a little biased, for 2 she wrote :
3 yrs or 4 yrs (3 yrs crammed)

SMU IS SO LUCRATIVE.
NTU IS LUCRATIVE AS WELL.

RAWRS.
headache wor.

2007-05-13T17:20:00.000+08:00

I went to ntu hi-tea session today. Contray to what my friend said, the hi-tea session is not just about cakes! (the chocolate cakes are fabulous with mint cream. yummy!) I met a senior there, known as benny, who has a GPA of 4.85, is my senior in NJ, NJC council, LIGNUM and we know the same teacher! This is freakingly scary. HAHAHAHA. He is starting his next job in GIC(the only one offered a place in GIC) How cool is that?

Anyway, it was really nice talking to him and hearing what ntu has to offer. He told me that NTU is more depth than SMU itself because SMU tests are all MCQ. (huh!) i don't know if that is a good thing or not. ahhaha. SMU focuses on the development of a person on a whole. (HOLISTIC DEVELOPMENT) The three year course is really lucrative because i get to come out earlier to work and have a headstart and i don't flood my life with projects. Somemore, it is really much more prestigious than SMU.

i guess i will have to wait till i go for SMU's tea session.

Oh. i met lotsa Anderson people today!
Joshua, Jie Sin, Yi Jun, Kenneth, Jin Yong, Carol! All Andersonians! HAHAHA. it was really hilarious. what happen is that jinyong asked me if i wanted to join yi jun and kenneth for lunch at mac's. Then he went off to the washroom ahahha. After that, when i went to find yijun and kenneth, they weren't there. Then, jy and i found out that they actually boarded the bus for a school tour. hahahahahah. In the end, jy and i got into his car and followed the bus entirely on the trip. HAHAHAHAH. HOW STUPID IS THAT.

yah and jy offered to drive me home but kinda weird. hahaha. and it was like out of the way and i was kinda scared. hahaha.

i had fun sms-ing him. He was on a date with his mom and his dad and his sister. A mother's day lunch. hahah. ( by the way, i didn't mention him in any part of this post till this paragraph) I talked on the phone with him yesterday night for a while then his phone low batt already. hmm.

aye. nothing nothing.

2007-05-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED B'DAY CHALK! I enjoyed the chicken dance~!!!

okay here an analyse by my friend.

hahas nanyang business sch
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
is de largest in southest asia?
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
ard dere la my business friend always haolian to mi la
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
haha...so ya... there is a certain reputation if u fr dere la
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
looks gd on ur resume...
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
smu relatively new but shld haf no prob wif local firms bah
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
distance wise
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
smu definately better
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
haha here to town is better than here to boonlay
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
yishun to boonlay takes 1 hr plus
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
and de morning bus ride into ntu is horrendous
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
haha...
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
smu more assessible

JinGz 45 bucks. sufficient to feed a child for a month. says:
how long to go to town
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
hmm nt tt long la
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
ard 30 mins

boonlay to dobyghuat
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
45 mins
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
haha i tried b4
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
coz i gotta catch last bus back to hall haha~

i tink smu is 4 yrs rrite?
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
ntu is 3 yrs

-==[k.JAY]==- says:
and u wanna catch tt IR rite?

-==[k.JAY]==- says:
4 yrs u late fer it liao
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
3 yrs juz nice

This is what my ex-boss said to me.

Skippok: Mippok says:
then how..wait go NTU worse..all the cheena nerdy guys like adrian

My options are in front of me now.

JinGz 45 bucks. sufficient to feed a child for a month. says:
but if u are gd
JinGz 45 bucks. sufficient to feed a child for a month. says:
u will b offered a position in yr 3 right
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
yupz
JinGz 45 bucks. sufficient to feed a child for a month. says:
so the 3 yrs advantage is nonsense.
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
haha true

NTU's system
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
hmm ntu lecture and tutorial
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
and seminars
lectre big grp
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
tutorial is classroom kind
seminar is sth like lecture
-==[k.JAY]==- says:
but smaller group

2007-05-10T15:30:00.000+08:00

I know the names of the teachers who are taking over me!

For IP Acc Maths G1, G2
Miss Chan Shi Yun, a new teacher from NIE

For JC1 S02, S03
Mr Steven Lee, tennis teacher-in-charge

i broke down in class today.
I couldn't take it. i was too angry so angry that i slammed the marker onto the whiteboard there and walked off with my face red. I didn't want to cry but i did. I ran to another empty classroom to cry and stopped myself after a minute or 30 seconds. I walked back into the classroom, to the back of the classroom and scolded the students who are so-called smarter so i need not actually care about them.

I was so disappointed. Today is the first time i am so disappointed in my students.

188

2007-05-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

This is my 188th post! =)

I phoned up NTU nanyang scholarship department asking them on my application status on scholarship.

the answer was simple: if you didn't get a call, you are not shortlisted.

hai.

Money. Money. My money woes are coming back again.

I calculated. If i take 90% loan on my tuition fees, i would have to pay up to $2000 for a period of 3 years for NTU.

Inclusive of hostel fees which adds up to around 5200 bucks for a total of 9 months per year.

Total would be 7200.

In these three years, i would be spending a lot of money.

Yulin is going overseas for an exchange program, spending 9 months overseas. That concludes a total of 16k inclusive of living expenses in US and sweden.

If i am going for exchg program, i would save 1.7k worth of hostel fees. hmm.

It will still add up to 25 k over 3 years.

One year i would spend on an average of 9k! arghh!. i need to save! Save! Save! Save!

breadcrumbs.
no weekend movies.
no restaurants.
no more clothes above 45 bucks.
(45 bucks is the amount of money needed to feed a child a month)

my 50 years resolution is starting to waiver. Is it really gonna last for 50 years?
I want to find a cause. A real cause.
Start looking!

2007-05-07T07:23:00.000+08:00

i have been thinking quite a lot about my choice of university.

Mr tong asked me to ask myself ,' Actually the two universities provide you the same education. It's the type of network you build up within the university itself.'

True. It's the choice of friends you choose to hang out with. NTU people seems to be more. Quiet. reserved, not that *KABOOM like smu students. (If yulin and amanda don't agree with, please tell me. )

SMu on the other hand, is dynamic and stuff. hmm. but with the fierce competition, it is definitely hard to shine in there.

shop! school!

2007-05-06T16:41:00.000+08:00

REVAMP!

I have decided! Since i have lots of free time on my hands, I shall do something meaningful. My next community project is not yet up yet. It's due in dec 2008! >.< lol. There's a LOOOOOONg way to go. TIQ! we need to start planning though! We promise grace we would look into it. HAAAA.

I went shopping with tiq and i bought shoes! I bought shorts!

I am gonna create a shopping list!

1. Birkenstocks. I want birks for my universities.
2. More shorts for university.
3. More tee shirts- that are not brown~!
4. I need a BAG. or BAGS.
5. Laptop. with a laptop bag. lol.
6. Clothes clothes and clothes. lots of clothes.
( MY F21 dresses! yippee!)

makeover?
I was just groaning over how my hair SUCKS because it's so dry and fuzzy and stuff. I realised that i am not that type of woman who spend time on GROOMING. I have decided. I will go for soft rebonding. HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO.

Yes. i am rebonding my hair again. In one month's time! =)) yeah! >.< HAHAHA. it sounds like a weird decision because i have been asking around and most people are telling me ,'your natural hair is better.' I wish it is better but I would not spend time GROOMING. hahahha.

hmm besides that i am considering whether i should highlight my hair. hmm. Should i?

2007-05-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

overworked.

I am tired.

I miss the good old days back in NJC. I am so envious of the students there. So carefree, so relax with no worries except grades. No slavery to money.

I miss the days natg, chock, weihao, ben, melvin and I hang out together doing funny stuff and crazy stuff.

now. everyone is just doing their own stuffs.

We are really on our own.

perhaps i should rephrase it.

I am really on my own.

I so want to leave this tiring world behind sometimes and run away to somewhere else.

i can't get close to teachers because i am leaving NJ soon and it will just be very sad. =(( I am getting close to miss chua, ruby ng and terence. It's scary! >.<

2007-05-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

I GOT ADMITTED INTO NTU BUSINESS and NUS FASS!

YESH.

FINALLY.

I can seriously sit down and look through my options! YESH.

I am a little upset that SMU didn't give me my double degree. aye. I don't know if it is a good thing or not that i do not have a double degree. This is a little set back. It is not like i didn't get a chance to go into SMU, not offered what i wanted in all my three universities. I just got to accept that i wasn't offered a double degree. I am starting to feel that whatever i had work so hard for doesn't seem to pay off. My portfolio was very nice, being able to offset the fact that i got only 3 aces but the lousy GP grade still affects me no matter what.

I suddenly feel very broke again, looking at the school fees. Perhaps a three year course at NTU would be better.
1. Save money
2. The money for my fourth year education can be used for my hostel!
3. I can avoid the baby boomers!

i am just trying to bluff myself that i am good.

2007-05-01T16:41:00.000+08:00

i am at home studying how to teach statistics now. how pathetic! i got a sms from gen that our F21 clothes have arrived from the states! yeah!!! but it costs 100 bucks for 2 dresses. sing dollars! i am super broke now. very broke! =( lol

a couple of things currently on my list to settle
1. xiaohui's baby cot
2. farewell gift for maths teachers!
3. shoes and stuff like that?

i dropped by Mr tong's place yesterday to have a good talk with him on my value systems. on whether i am clear to where i am heading as a person, whether my values are strong enough, whether i should go SMU or NTU(which culture, which system suits me better) -he believes that i will score better in SMU than in NTU.

After which i helped him do sai kung. I posted envelopes containing letters from SOT to various schools with their latest magazines attached. I just found out that they did not send the magazines to every single school but only to certain schools because not all schools will find the magazines beneficial and will buy it. My immediate question was to ask him- that means there's limited information given to them and they are sort of disadvantaged isn't it? Then he replied with a simple yes. I didn't probe further.

They are setting up a new book cafe downstairs known as Food for thought. It is more of a canteen than a restaurant. I thought it would be interesting to blog down the details for i am going to attach to them on this journey.

The idea is interesting: In the day, people can just buy from the shop itself and take away. It is based on the idea of a canteen, where it does not isloate any market so it cannot be too posh because it will drive people on a budget away. It cannot be too modern or hip or it will drive certain elder generations away. The idea basically means that the target group must be focused and in this case, the target group is EVERYONE.

It serves a couple of purposes: 1. sell food of course, 2. At night, groups of people like homosexuals(mr tong said) or businessmen or workshops can be conducted at the place itself. [this is like the increasing trend of discussion groups surfacing in uk-they discuss on current issues of the world]

The food they are selling is interesting. It is pure gourmet food meaning there's no cooking at all, no usage of fire. They invited a chef they met online via gaming(!!!) to singapore to cook and he is coming over soon! So exciting! They will change the menu every single month but the hard part is providing changes to the menu and keeping the style/certain types of food that regular patrons can enjoy or associate the cafe with.

Mr tong asked me down to the shop itself to ask for my ideas on the layout of the shop itself. I thought of a bar almost immediately because of the way the shop is. Its breadth is short but the length is long. I don't know how to describe it. hahaha.

Anyway, we were discussing on the concepts of open kitchen or closed kitchens. Open kitchens have the risk of customers complaining on the quality of the food but closed kitchens reduce this possibility. Chefs have the ability to recook certain food such that they taste almost the same. There's a lot of things ungoing in closed kitchens~ ! hahaha.

Apparently the licensing is a headache here because it can take a while to process the licenses-PUB, URA etc and they are urged to start the restaurant sooon because the landlady( a taiwanese taitai ) is chasing them for the rent.

So exciting!

My life is seriously packed with projects but not with people! =((

Chock asked me to go clubbing with her. AHHAHA. Our frequencies simply doesn't match. When she wants to club, i am not interested. When i want to club, she is sick of clubbing! >.<>.<

(oh yah. I will be the waitress if i go work in food for thought but that's if i go SMU. sians) This is not an opportunity to be missed! Learning on the job itself! =))

Mr tong mentioned to me that his mom is a commodities trader meaning you trade commodities like oil, electronics and things like that. You earn on average 14 k a month. I am asking him to introduce to me this job. Hhahaha. He even called up his mom to ask if they take in interns! gosh! She replied that they are too busy to care about interns. HAHAHAHA. I am going to work for that. It is good money and it is hell interesting. They basically fly around the world trading for commodities, earning commissions.

On my list:
1. Investment banking? I don't reallyhave the brains though.
2. Commodities Trader

=)))

I miss NJC. hai. I feel kinda alone all the time.

2007-04-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

I just watched this japanese movie 'Train man'. It is a movie inspired by a real life story about a geek/nerd who has never dated before and was a very shy person who kept to himself. One day on the train, there was this drunkard harrassing people on the train. When this drunkard started disturbing this girl (that he 'like'), he stood up for her although he was super scared. From there onwards, he wanted to date her and he asked for advice online! it was stated that his post received around 3 million posts that actually helped him! He had a makeover, brought the girl to different restaurants and things like that! In the end, he got the girl. =)))

HAHAH. such an innocent love story yeah? I look at my friends around me. Their relationships don't last. hahah. it's saddening isn't it?

2007-04-29T21:20:00.000+08:00

My birthday party was a success!

i HOPE i didn't leave anyone out. ahhaha. all my friends said i was so stressed walking around to serve people.

THANKS TO THOSE WHO CAME!

i am a little tired. I have lots to do! It seems to me that i am teaching everyday! Be it tuition or school. RAWRS. i very sian.

Updates on University application!
1. I got into SMU BUSINESS! but no double degree =(
2. I have a NUS USP interview tml!

I am addicted to this korean drama serial-Wedding. It is such a sad show. i wonder if i will have a wedding like that.

Anyway, after reading Tueday with Morrie, I have decided to get married and live my life happily. =))

[MY 50 YEARS RESOLUTION?]

a favourite sms recently...
Thanks im going for it later. Anyway really sorry can't make it for ur celeb. Rather busy this book out. Happy birthday and have fun ya =)

A really nice sms. lol.

2007-04-28T13:08:00.000+08:00

aye. lots of ppl nt turnin up. sian nt stayin over. sian. he's nt goin.

2007-04-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

THANKS FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY PRESENTS AND BIRTHDAY WISHES!

i feel really fortunate!

i went into class on wednesday, 25 april. ( my second lesson with S02 - i have no lessons with them on my birthday)

They started singing happy birthday song. I was using the paper to cover my face! I was embarrassed. Then the chinese version came. I believe i was already blushing! omg. Then they greeted me in chinese! like lao shi zao an! then i was like tong xue men zhao an(good morning students in mandarin)! then we remembered the AIYOYO teacher drama series. HAHAHAHHAHA. gan dong! -sniff-

NATG! I have dedicated this to you! hahaha. thanks for your birthday present! A roxy tank top! i am wearing it tomorrow night. i will take pictures and show u k?! I MISS YOu!

My second birthday present would be the treat by Terence and Ruby at Sun and Moon. =) 72 bucks. The ambience was good but the food was alright. =) DANKE~

I got my third birthday present today.

KUDOS TO MATHS DEPARTMENT!
especially to Miss Chua, Miss Ling, Mr Tan Chih Yuan, Mr Yeo Sho Hor, Mr Eng Wee Keng, Mr Neo Chee Peng, Miss Maureen Ng, Miss Ruby Ng, Mr Damian Chee, Mr Chew, Miss Chan, Mr Lum, Mr Song, Miss Sim.

THANKS FOR THE 160 dollar Forever21 voucher. I got a shock when i received it. I saw the 50 dollar. I got a shock. i was like. WTH. how much is it? I felt damn bad okay when i received it. When i saw the note, it was kinda obvious who wrote it.

It was actually in a plastic holder and on the cover it was

To XiuJing,
Kindly finish the tasks assigned to you in the following by TODAY!
URGENT!
1. Ip termly class quiz (on basic Stats)
2. JC1 Class Quiz and June Revision Package.
See Chee Fai for more details.

Thanks.
C.F.

(i was like. WAD?! so much work to do?!) then when i open up, i saw the vouchers and i was very touched. Miss Chua had co-ordinated all this. The collection of money, the buying of vouchers, she even went down to see if there's a suitable dress for me. aye. THANKS MISS CHUA!!!!!

The note on the voucher:
XiuJing,
Happy birthday to Baby Xiujing.
Love,
Siok Kheng(miss chua)
Hwee Cheng (miss ling)
Sho Hor (mr yeo)
Chee Peng (mr neo)
Chih Yuan (mr tan)
Maureen(miss ng)
Wee Keng(mr eng)
Year 1 team.

aye. thanks so much. i really feel the love. I am going to surprise them with my departure gift! =))

2007-04-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS 24 april, my birthday! =)

I woke up feeling calm. I told myself not to get too excited about my birthday =)) because i was a little excited. haha. My students wished me happy birthday =)) Although it is a very small gesture, i am already very happy =) I have truly understood what the phrase 'it's the thought that counts' means.

KUDOS TO MISS RUBY NG AND MR TERENCE CHIA FOR TREATING ME TO SUN AND MOON. THE BILL WAS 72 bucks.

KUDOS TO MISS RUBY NG FOR SHOPPING AROUND WITH ME THE WHOLE DAY! =)

I am spending like 500 bucks on my birthday chalet. haii.

I started out with the intention of giving my friends one last chance to gather, to talk and to group before we all leave sg for study, leave for the army or simply, enter the university. I know we will all go our separate ways soon so i want to cherish this moment before university where the friendships are stronger than before because this is the moment where we start to appreciate our friends and families more due to the lack of responsibility entrusted upon us.

I started to ask a lot of people because i just wanted to give them a treat and it grew bigger and bigger! hahah. i think i should check my bank account first. lol.

Tuesday with Morrie

This book is a story about lessons the author learnt from his professor, Morrie. His professor was down with ASL (i forgot the actual name of the disease) and was dying soon. He spent his tuesdays with the author, teaching him rules of life. These small rules of life were merely a few words, a few sentences which were very impactful and important.

I remembered a few lessons:

-Giving always give one the most satisfaction. For one's desires will never be fulfilled completely.
-We dwell in something that is almost non-related to us.

I learnt much more than all this but the book is in school (i hope because i forgot where i placed it!) and i can't recall it all.

I sent mr tong (my gp tuition teacher) a message: Can i request for a birthday present. Then he replied: Sure if i can afford it and within my means. I replied with ' I need to talk about my values, i want to talk about the book Tuesday with Morrie.' and we are meeting up. If the author's lifelong teacher is Prof. Morrie. I hope my Morrie is Mr Tong.

Life is not about materialistic goals. People,at their deathbeds, will often say that they cannot take anything along with them. They certainly cannot take materialistic goods along with them. This book 'forces' us to reflect upon our lives, now and then, to ask ourselves, is this the way i want to live my life? When i looked back, I was thinking: This is the way i want to live my life.

I am proud to say i am truly happy now. i have unfulfilled wants and desires but i am happy at this moment. thankful to be here. =)

KUDOS TO THOSE WHO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Natg Khoo! Krystle Alyssa Chalk Jason Aizat(for your phone call!) Weihao (for your phone call as well!) Amanda Christie Xin Yi Xiao Hui Alywin Dillion KangWei Terence! KK Buddy! Heng Wee Anting! S02! G1 students! Shawn MCINTYRE Lin Huixian! Adrian Lim! Rayshio! =)) Tess Moh! Caryn from SYC Qun Zheng Kay jay! Wingmei! Andre! Simon! Jessica!

To those who i left out, sorry! Thanks for all your birthday wishes! =))

2007-04-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

i got to paste this conversation here!

Krystle and I was choosing the menu for my birthday party!
=))

-krystle ت - floooo. says:
kailan!
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
7 i know wad
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
wahahaha
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
YES
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
YEAHH BABEHHH
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
wahahahahahaha
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
with MUSHROOMS
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
ROCKS
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
YEAHH!!

It was turning freakyyyyy. haha We were choosing all the same items. OMG can. lol.

-krystle ت - floooo. says:
all sound a bit odd. wahhaha i'd say seafood
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
seafood fried rice
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
HAHAH
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
WAHAHAH
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
omggg
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
HAHAHA
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
xiujing!
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
WE SHLD GO FOR
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
like those kind of contest
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
that guess number and win prize
XIU JING HERE. I MISS NATTY KHOO and ALYSSA says:
scary
-krystle ت - floooo. says:
hahaha

YAH. we chose like 7 items same for a 10 meal course. HAHAHA.

fun fun fun!

I am asking if anyone's getting me a cake on my birthday! OMG. i no money to spend on cake already. lol.

500 bucks !

OUCH. but nvm lar. As long as everyone is happy can already=))

2007-04-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

i have finally finished my two interviews! yeah!!!

my ntu business interview and NJC cip award interview. WOO HOO.

YES.

hohohoho.

I got an acceptance letter from smu on SUNDAY. like huh?! Sunday?! I got a shock! but i got an acceptance letter yeah! =)

I went for NJC's CIP award interview. i got a shock! Mrs Cheng, Mr Mark Lo, Mrs Marianne Tan, the president of alumni for NJC alumni and the head of ACS alumni (i think)
I just rattled! omg.

The NTU interview was alright=) The two lecturers were very nice to me =) they were interested to know about me and were smiling all the way, prompting me =)

THey actually let me know more about the business course itself. I was talking more to the lady, Miss Ruth Lim. I can't remember the other lecturer. hahaha. oops. It ended with her saying,' I hope you will seriously consider our program. I think you can do a double degree.' (does that mean i am in?)

TEACHING
After i became a teacher in NJ, i respect NJ teachers even more. I really respect NJC them. Their workscope does not include just marking papers and teaching. Their work includes planning for lessons, preparing notes, marking papers, setting questions, disciplines, cca, moral encouragement, peer tutoring, etc. etc.

I respected them before i was a teacher.

I just respect them even more.

It is not easy being a teacher.

It is even harder being a good teacher.

On a side note, I am falling sick. I keep falling sick. I so want to fall asleep now.

I shall head home to mark IP2 stuff. =))

I have a packed schedule this week.

Week 6 ( haha. school schedule)

Tuesday After School, hanging out with Ms Ruby Ng! Eat lunch and then we shop around. I have a meeting with Hassan.

Wednesday afternoon-rest

Thursday afternoon-tuition (angie)

friday afternoon- tuition (sengtong)

Saturday morning-tuition (Angie n Seng tong)
Saturday afternoon- Chalet cum catering.

Sunday Morning- Sleep in chalet =))

Sunday afternoon-plentiful of rest cum reading up for monday USP interview.

Week 7
Monday morning-USP interview.

2007-04-20T09:37:00.000+08:00

It's 20 april! A week flew by. FLEW literally. It is SO fast. I feel i am growing older by the days! gosh.

I hope my lesson will work out well for the next 4 weeks and my students that i am teaching tuition will be learning alot and achieving great grades!

I have so many interviews!

one interview tomorrow afternoon, njc at 320pm.

NTU interview at 23 april, monday, 900am.

NUS USP interview at 30 april, monday.

GOSH. i am missing so many classes.

argh. so many interviews. it is driving me nuts.

2007-04-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

i feel like a lousy teacher.

i am just not good enough.

i need to talk to ms ling later at 12 noon. Hopefuly i can get another job =)

i am a bit bad though.

2007-04-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

i am depressed.

disappointed.

despondent.

discouraged.

my teachers all volunteer to bring me along for their trip to Egypt-turkey, Hongkong, Switzerland-France but i can't go.

why?

because i am broke. VERY BROKE.

it's so sad. I SO WANT TO GO OVERSEAS.

Half of the time my brother's msn nick is 'i hate being poor.'

'Poor is just a state of mind. We are just broke.'
that's what gabrielle said in desperate housewives season1( i am rewatching DHS1)

then on the way back, as it was raining, i offered to share my umbrella with a young girl.

At that moment, my heart lightened and i felt a little happier.

Any moment of life should not be used to feel sad, because life is so short.

(but i still feel sad. Oh well, i will get over it. soon i hope.)

2007-04-16T13:37:00.000+08:00

i am going for my smu interview in an hour. After i finish this blog entry, i am going to bathe, comb my hair, put on make up, smile!

RELAX.

CHILL.

hahah. what a fuss i am kicking up!

It's only an admission university. I need to clear my mind and be focused. I need to focus on the fact that i want to join SMU so much that nothing will stand in my way. I need to be focused. focused.

focused.

focused.

RAWRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

i can't.

you can. you can do it. COME ON. let's make this work man. (HAHAHAH. i know i look retarded talking to myself on my blog but this matters a lot!)

i remember the last time i was so nervous for something big(it was big for me). It was council exco elections. I was so nervous i wasn't making sense. I SUCK. I SERIOUSLY SUCK. i regretted that moment so much. It was sth that i wanted so badly, something that i wanted to serve with all my heart and my time. Perhaps, looking at it at another way, I can see that i didn't miss out a lot or rather, what i had missed out was made up with what i have tried to achieve myself. SYC camp was one lucky thing that fell into my path. Aces was the following lucky thing. *scape workgroup was a lucky thing as well. I loved these experiences. they brought me new friends, new experiences, made me more comfortable with my skills then before. I am really thankful for all these friends, be it in council, in my class, in *scape workgroup or in SYC. i was touched by these people in my life no matter where i go. I am fortunate. I really am.

Now is the time where i can be fortunate again. Strive for that moment when i really succeed. There are things which we want so badly that we do wonders just to reach there. Now is the moment. Come on! I can do it!

let's go! =)